How to save a Life (Jalex)

I thought you'd want the same for me

“Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy, I thought you'd want the same for me”

Alex P.O.V.

I was not the one I used to be. I used to be a happy, lively boy before my brother committed suicide. I had dreams. I wanted to be alive and live like there'd be no tomorrow. But people change, right?

Now I'm a fucking mess. I cut my hips, my arms, my wrists, my thighs. Nobody ever checked my body of scars or any other signs of self harm. Right, why should they? On stage or whenever I'm with them I was still the lively, seeming to be happy lad they knew. And what's even more funny: Not even Jack had noticed anything till I committed. That shows how important I was to my best friends. Well, I thought they were my best friends. Maybe now we are just members of the same band and used to be best friends. You know: From best friends to friends to ends.

But I wasn't angry or sad. It was their right to ignore me suffering. It was their good right to be happy and think I was, too. Rian has Cassadee, he has better things to do than worry about one of his friends, one of his band mates. Then there's Zack, but he also had other things to do. He did so much to train his body and everything he was too exhausted to care if I am down or not. But Jack? He just hooked up with some fans or other strangers and had his fun. Why looking after his pathetic friend if he could be having fun?

And I really, really wanted to tell them. After that show I almost passed out and they nearly called an ambulance because they were really worried. I know if I had told them I wouldn't be in this weak position. They would have helped me before I could even think about suicide.

Flashback

“Just call a fucking ambulance, Jack! You won't help him if you sit there and just cry!”, I heard Rian shouting angrily at Jack. I couldn't hear him properly, like someone had put absorbent cotton in my ears. “B-but.. Rian.. H-he..”, Jack mumbled. I heard the tears and the pain in his voice.

You can always tell how Jack is feeling. Whether you both are talking or you look him in the eyes. He was so easy to read. Every emotion was instantly plastered on his face. His smile could light up a room and his cries can make everyone around him cry, too. I hated seeing him cry.

Everything I wanted was seeing my best friend happy, no matter what it would take. I swore it to myself. I would never let him down like Tom has let me down. Yes, my brother was everything to me, he was the best friend I ever had. But then he was gone and only Jack had saved me from the tears and the thoughts. At least for a long time, now they began to crawl back into my mind.