I can't be saved // Destiel

Chapter 10

19th March 2001

Cas had told Dean to sleep so he could calm down before having to explain to anyone what happened to Sam. Dean told Cas it would be okay for him to leave but he insisted on staying the night. Cas had tried to stay in Dean's bed but he needed space. Little did Cas know, Dean got maybe 20 minutes of sleep last night. "Morning Dean!" Cas was awake bright and early, making – pancakes?.

"Uh, Cas, what are you doing?"

"Making pancakes Dean." Dean rushed over before a fire started, taking over what Cas claimed to be doing. "Sorry Dean." Cas furrowed his eyebrows and stared at his feet.

"It's okay, I know you were just trying to be helpful." Dean laughed a little as he picked up the frying pan and flipped the pancake. Cas watched in awe, a little confused as to how Dean learned such good cooking skills.

"So Dean?"

"Yes Castiel?" Cas jumped a little at hearing Dean call him his full name.

"Well, I was just wondering if you wanted me to call your father." Upon hearing that Dean went silent. He had obviously been trying to avoid all of this but he couldn't just forget about it forever. "Sorry Dean, I just – think it's better to get it over and done with."

"Yeah whatever." Dean mumbled, slamming the door on his way out.

"Wait! Dean! Where are you going?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because Dean, I want to help you."

"Yeah, well I don't want to be helped. It should be me dead right now. Not Sammy. I'm not prepared to face Dad and I probably never will be. So Cas, where am I going?" He climbed into his car and started blaring AC/DC. He stomped his foot on the pedal and he was gone. Cas was left standing behind in a cloud of dust.

*

Cas began to worry, would Dean do something irrational because he was upset? Cas tried to call Dean's phone but it went straight to voicemail. "This is Dean, you know what to do."

"Dean, please pick up. Please don't do anything that could get you in trouble. I'm coming to find you in an hour if you don't reply."

*

Cas waited around for another half hour or so and started getting an intense feeling of anxiety. He tried calling Dean but it rung out. There was no point leaving a voicemail because he probably wouldn't check them anyway. He started doing what he should have done in the first place. He tried to track him down with his powers but they don't work all that well anymore. He thought for a while and did the only sane thing to do. He grabbed some alcohol out of the fridge. That's what Dean did whenever he was worried.

*

Cas felt overly nauseated and dizzy. "How many drinks did I have?" He questioned himself, trying to stand upright. "I feel like I found a liquor store and drank it." He was slurring all his words and got caught up in a laughing fit. He felt like he was choking then he threw up.

*

Dean walked back into the hotel to see Cas unconscious on the floor surrounded by bottles and – vomit? He rushed over to Cas to make sure he hadn't choked or something. "Cas! Hey, are you okay?" He made an attempt to open his eyes but they rolled into the back of his head. Dean laughed a little, picking him up to put him to bed. It was about midnight so Dean bought a pie from the diner up the road. He crawled into bed next to Cas and Dean whispered "No homo though." Because he wasn't gay, he was platonically sleeping next to his best friend.