emails from me

first email back.

to: aspen
from: lane
subject: jesus christ i'm mad at you.

first email back.

god aspen.

my hands are fucking shaking so bad.

i don't know what to say,
i'm afraid whatever i say will make you change your mind about emailing me.

and i can't let you do that.

i just got you back, at least a bit,
please don't take it away.

i keep having to put my phone down on the table so i can make sure this is real.

okay.

okay.

i can do this, be normal.
just email you.

fuck i don't like it, but i can do it if you'll still talk to me.

[i keep erasing what i want to say an replacing it with shit that won't make you take back the ability to talk to you.]

i hope you know i'm really mad.

i mean, i'm really mad.

but i won't talk about how mad or sad or upset i am, because you don't want me to.
and i'll do whatever you want.

so.

things here have been,

quiet, i guess.

our apartment, our home, is quiet.
empty of your giggles and pointless chatter.
gone is your sweet presence that always made every thing better.

i hope the people you're around know how damn lucky they are to be in your presence.
i hope they're savoring it.
because you're not something to take lightly.

sam visits a lot.
he stays over some.
says i shouldn't be left alone.

i guess i agree.

i think you would too.

i miss you aspen.

i love you with my whole heart.

-lane lane lane lane lane who misses his girl.
[yes i'm going back to that habit.]

••

a/n

updates are kinda gonna be a bit all over for a while. but it should be at least one every two or three days at most!

what do you think of lane's response?

can we get to 320 votes because lane's back??

thoughts? please!

please vote & comment! :) thank

OH and should i keep the subjects AND lane's sign offs, or put his sign offs in the subject?