THE RESTLESS AUTUMN (completed) (a full-length novel)

A Constant Good-bye

Chapter 10

Euna sealed the red silk pouch with one last stitch, feeling a strange calm holding it in her palm. She had never valued her possessions. Like she could care any less if she could find redemption at the end of the road. But things changed. Now everything mattered, even the tiniest speck. Last night despite the rush, she knew exactly what it was that she wanted. There was no way she would forget his image, taking her in full authority as if he owned her inside out. But like the first burst of a blossoming love, she held on to the sweetest memory of that night, that exact moment when she was finally one with him. As if nothing else could ever make her whole again. Resting her back against the cold wall, her mind drifted back. She hid the pouch in the inner pocket of the knapsack and pulled out a small jewelry box. She flipped the cover open and stared at the ring, adoring its beauty once more. Euna slid it on her ring finger, still believing it once represented the love Ji-heon had for her. She recalled the last time she had worn it, on her way to the hospital, on the night of his captivity. She took off the ring and put it inside the jewelry box, placing it on the floor together with an envelope filled with folds of money.

As soon as she heard him walk into the kitchen, she immediately rose to her feet and pressed her ear against the door. She heard him speak on the phone, his voice sounding clear. He was setting up for a proposal tonight. Something tugged at her heart. She remained in her spot after the phone call, guessing his moves with the sounds that he made. For the remaining hours, she chose to stay in the laundry room.

He picked a coffee mug from the rack while talking to Jang-woo. "Be there, nine would be fine… In-ri will be there and all her college friends. Call Mong-ryu for me, will you?" He hung up and started to blend some coffee. After which he sat in the table and read the newspaper from end to end. It was nearly an hour before noon when he looked at his watch. Normally he would've left for work by this time, but today he chose to stay longer. Euna hadn't come out the whole morning, but he was positive she was awake because of the sound of movement inside. He took out his planner and rewrote all his schedules for the next two weeks. He then tore out a page and made some doodles on it, only to crumple it with his hands. The waiting made him impatient. He fixed himself with another cup of coffee, but this time he took long glances at the laundry room. Soon he found himself facing the door, one hand suspended in the air. His phone rang. It made him turn away. Jo Yong-il called to ask when he would be coming for work. He hurriedly gathered his things from the table and stared at the door again. He would have his chance later, he thought. Within minutes he left the house, still in much remorse over what he did to Euna last night.

Euna came out of the room after Ji-heon left. She walked to the dining table and sat in the chair where he had vacated minutes ago. She scribbled some words but couldn't finish a sentence. She tried again until she got it right. The message was short, carefully written as the words had a perfect alignment. Soon after, she began doing her chores, the last time she would be doing for Ji-heon. She had grown to love the house, even the smell of it, which was a faint scent of lime from the disinfectant spray. A bottle of aftershave left on the corner table appeared to be half-empty. The strongest of his memories. She knew she would forever identify this scent to the man she loved most. When it finally got dark, she collected her knapsack and switched off the lights. She gently closed the door behind her and walked into the streets with a lullaby in her lips.

The Groove was in full blast that evening. Ji-heon and In-ri shared a loveseat while their friends gathered around them. Each one had a story to tell about the couple and most of the time, the group would erupt into loud cheers. The night was long; the celebration had just started.

"Hyung, what is this gathering for?" Mong-ryu asked, feigning an innocent look.

"Yeah, the invitation sounded so urgent. I had to refuse my wife's dinner so I could come here tonight," Dong-neul said.

Jang-woo stepped in and quieted everyone down. "The gentleman has an announcement to make."

In-ri looked at Ji-heon lovingly, as if she knew what this night was about.

"Come on, where's the ring? We wanna see it!" Mong-ryu teased and the crowd went wild again.

Ji-heon held Mong-ryu in a head lock and teased, "Do you really have to be so impatient?"

"Not so quick. Why don't we enjoy this night first and wait till he gets the proper timing. Who knows we've all passed out by then," Dong-neul laughed and raised his glass for a toast.

Ji-heon raised his glass too, and everyone followed. But before he could take a sip, a face in a corner startled him. He saw Euna staring, smiling, gleaming, like she was too happy to see him tonight. He thought he was imagining things, but he saw Euna withstanding shoves and pushes from the passersby. He lowered his glass and looked at In-ri. She had been having small talks, occasionally exchanging laughter with the rest of the group. He followed his impulse, bringing his eyes back to the corner where he had found her, but she was gone.

Outside The Groove a trickle of people passed by. It was drizzling and the air was exceptionally cold. Her two layered clothing did little to shelter her from the merciless wind but she kept her head high. She picked up the knapsack from the ground and walked away with her mind and spirit completely freed.

Ji-heon found the house in total darkness. He immediately knew something had changed. He switched on the lights and saw everything in its place, the throw pillows on the couch, the tray of pebbles on the center table, the frames on the wall. He reached the dining table where he found the diamond ring he had given her six years ago, an envelope with money that was used to pay her last night, and a folded letter with his name written on it.

He touched the diamond ring and trapped it in his hand. He leaned in his chair and stared at the ceiling, his mind floating like a piece of feather. The sudden silence in the house brought back the emptiness he used to have, making it more obvious, undeniable and deeper than he could ever admit. Something unsettling filled his heart. He knew it would take infinity to make it go away. His hand reached for another jewelry box in his pocket, but this one he left on the table, almost with abandonment.

Unfolding the letter, his eyes ran across the words over and over again.

Thank you for this chance.

I promise not to cross your path again.

Please live a long and happy life.

Euna