THE RESTLESS AUTUMN (completed) (a full-length novel)

One Again

Chapter 16

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know."

His hands on her arms moved blindly, fingers digging softly into her flesh every now and then. He could feel her heartbeat against his chest. Conceding, Euna turned limp in his arms, her shoulders drooping, her empty eyes looking past him. He gently kissed her hair and whispered again, “Stay with me, I’ll take care of you.” Still, she gazed in silence. Ji-heon pulled back. Her nearness moved him to tears. He wished for a time freeze, because he didn't want to miss anything about her anymore. “I found Seung-jin,” Ji-heon finally said with caution. Euna moved her hands against his chest in a defiance. “We can raise her together. She needs us.” Her eyes moved in all directions, her body shivering in panic. Her hands curled into fists but she could barely move now that he held her tighter.  Sensing another wave of fear he kissed her shoulder gently, over and over again.

Outside the apartment Eun-jung stood, witnessing the scene with the slightest of guilt. She raised a hand to wipe her tears. There’s something in the moment that felt so right. Ji-heon's immense passion came clear to Eun-jung. He was still in love with Euna. He had never ceased being in love with her. She had no doubt he sought her for the purpose of pursuing his love for her. After a while, in a discomfited silence, Eun-jung stepped inside and pulled Euna to her feet. Ji-heon watched Euna throw her arms around Eun-jung, sobbing and shaking.

Tae-woo’s head drooped as he listened to his wife crying against the glass wall. Eun-jung who just received the news that his interview with the board of parole jury had been cancelled, cried with her face in her hands. She never understood the gravity of Tae-woo’s involvement until today.

“You lied to me,” Eun-jung said, furiously pounding her fist against the glass.

“I’m sorry,” Tae-woo replied.

“But why?”

“I had to.”

“You just killed a man. You told me you’d only tip them off.”

“Hyung wouldn’t execute the plan if I didn’t agree.”

“So this is what I get for following all your orders. I’ve been waiting for nine years to have you back again. You were already eligible for a parole.”

“I can wait some more,” Tae-woo said in an indistinctive tone.

“Another ten years? How much more should I wait?” Eun-jung asked, almost screaming.

“Her safety comes first.”

“I’m sorry. I want her to be safe, too. I just… never thought it would have such a high price.”

“She’s had enough. I don’t want her to live in fear anymore.” Tae-woo lowered his eyes and said, “If—you can’t wait for me, I’ll—understand.”

Eun-jung shut her eyes and more tears came out. “I should’ve been gone a long time ago. There’s really nothing in it for me, is there? When would it be our turn? My turn?”

Tae-woo looked at Eun-jung. Her hands were on the glass wall. In a rare display of longing for his wife, he placed his hands against the glass too until their palms were aligned. In a fleeting moment, it felt like the perfect calm.

“Promise me you’ll stay out of troubles from now on,” Eun-jung said after collecting herself.

Tae-woo nodded and did something that took Eun-jung by surprise. For the first time in their marriage, he spoke the word saranghae to her face.

Since the night Ji-heon had found her, she hadn’t said a word. Even after Eun-jung spilled the good news to her that Jip-suk and the gang had been  neutralized, she still refused to speak. It was too much for her mind to comprehend, not being able to distinguish the thin line between protection and betrayal. Eun-jung knew Euna needed time to come around. Today she hoped to see some changes as she brought her another piece of good news. She was taking her to see Seung-jin. That’s when Euna finally spoke again.