THE RESTLESS AUTUMN (completed) (a full-length novel)

The Impending Vows

Chapter 19

Every so often he would put his hand on her arm and smile. It didn't matter if her eyes were somewhere else when she told him she wanted to stay with him. He knew the reason behind it could be anything but love. For now, having her beside him meant everything to him. It mattered more than his pride, his self-esteem. In a brief conversation on the way to a condominium somewhere in Dae-gu, Euna was able to sum up everything she wanted to tell him, and he understood very well on his end that he needed to give her ample time to adjust to the kind of life she and Seung-jin was about to start with him.

"Will Seung-jin be comfortable in here?" Dr. Son asked, trying to distract Seung-jin with a colorful lollipop. To his surprise, the child cried even louder and turned her face away.

Euna quickly carried her child in her arms and said, "We're going to be fine. Thank you."

"If you need anything, I'll be in the next room," he said, smiling before heading to the door.

"Dr. Son…."

"Call me Jae-gun," he insisted.

Euna nodded. "What do you like to have for dinner? Tell me more about yourself, so I can serve you well." Seung-jin struggled to get free from her grasp at that point but she held her tight and soothed her with plenty of kisses on her hair. Seeing the child getting more and more agitated, Dr. Son reluctantly maintained his distance and settled down in a cushioned chair. He smiled again and patiently waited for Seung-jin's cries to subside, until he and Euna could have their first intimate conversation.

"Eonni," Euna whispered into the phone the next morning.

"Shin Euna! Where are you?" Eun-jung yelled from the other end of the line.

"Listen, I'm giving you my location but you have to promise to come alone."

"What's happening? He's been looking everywhere for you. How's Seung-jin?"

"She's with me, she's fine, don't worry."

"What are you up to this time? What else do you want? He's given you everything, everything!"

"Eonni, please calm down. Come see us, now. I want us to be together," Euna said, keeping her voice low.

Eun-jung sighed. "Shin Euna, you know I can tolerate most of your mistakes, but you have to know you're hurting him deeply. He's started drinking because of this."

"I don't wanna hear about it. Please, I don't have much time," Euna said, her voice now sounding urgent. "Come and live with us, bring all your things with you. If you don't come, we might never see each other anymore."

He pulled over at the spot where he had parked before. After getting off, Ji-heon looked at the row of apartments and found Eun-jung's. But the lights were out and the apartment looked unoccupied. He slammed the car door and closed his eyes, trying to contain his fear. Soon he found himself in front of the door and rang the doorbell. He kept ringing for the next fifteen minutes until a neighbor came and told him the occupant had already vacated the place. He dreaded to hear it, the confirmation of his fears. Soon his rage surged up again. He banged the wall until his knuckles became sore. There hadn't been any kind of pain he couldn't go through but this time, he was on the verge of surrendering. He kept shouting Euna and Seung-jin's names and begged them to come out. Until a gentle pat on his back by the same neighbor calmed him down. With shoulders drooped and a forlorn look, Ji-heon retreated to his car without another word.

"Help me, Father Vincent. I need to find them," Ji-heon begged on the phone that evening, his speech slurring.

"You've been drinking, Ji-heon ssi," Father Vincent replied, recognizing the trouble in Ji-heon's voice.

"You've got to help me, Father."

"I've been calling them for days but they've been out of reach."

"You have to help me, you have to …"

"Ji-heon ssi, I'll do what I can. You have to take it easy."

"Father, I feel like dying …"

Silence came to fore. Father Vincent repeatedly asked him to speak but the line had gone dead.

Jung-hwa wheeled himself to the wine bar where Ji-heon's head lay slumped on the countertop. He forced himself to his feet and put his hand on his son's shoulder. "Son, she hurt you again."

Slowly Ji-heon raised his head. With half-opened eyes, said, "Aboji, help me find her."

"You don't deserve getting hurt like this."

"Aboji, I want my family back," Ji-heon choked in his tears.

"She will keep on hurting you."

"I don't care." Ji-heon wiped his tears and gulped down the remaining liquor in his wineglass. He reached for the half-emptied bottle and filled the glass again. Unable to keep his hands off, Jung-hwa pushed the glass away but Ji-heon struggled to get it back. The elder Lee could only watch in silence as his son drowned himself in more liquor for the rest of the evening.

She held the bouquet of blue hydrangeas in front of the full body mirror once more while Seung-jin picked at her floral headdress. She smiled at her daughter whose eyes had turned tinier from grinning ear to ear. In all the months she was apart from her father, Euna never thought she could see Seung-jin this happy again. She waited until her child was able to embrace Dr. Son as a father figure before she accepted his marriage proposal. His persistence yet gentle ways made it easy for her to overcome her fears and doubts. Even without reciprocating, Euna was aware and even thankful, that his love had remained constant all this time. Staring at her own image, she reminded herself to smile more sweetly, even if it was in the form of another deception. She needed to convince everyone this was the life she had chosen for herself and for her daughter, that she was marrying her groom purely because of an earnest wish to spend her lifetime with him.

A knocking sound at the door. Euna saw Eun-jung peeking, mouthing the word, "It's time."

Euna took Seung-jin by the hand. "Come, it's time."