THE RESTLESS AUTUMN (completed) (a full-length novel)

The Ring

Chapter 18

She turned to her side with back toward him, eyes deeply shut. He kissed her hair behind her ear, inhaling her scent, the only thing that could calm him down. His arm wrapped in bandage slowly crossed over her waist enveloping her in a loose embrace. After separating from her, his body immediately grew cold, not from the ceasing of physical contact but from the passive look she had on her face. He recognized the hurt, but didn’t know how to erase this from her memory. He recalled the first night they made love, the roughness of his moves and the impassionate kisses, as well as the cold façade he had and regretted it like hell. Tonight he wanted to change all that and tried to be the gentlest lover for her. From the tip of his fingers to the movement of his mouth, there was no holding back anymore. He made sure each kiss, each stroke, each glide was tender yet passionate, conveying a deep longing for her. He poured out his confession in whispers, leaving nothing unspoken, hoping each word would help him reach her heart. But as she turned her back on him, he realized it still wasn’t enough. Even when she had been responsive to his touch, the reluctance of her hands on his body showed she was still hounded by the past, and the anticipation for another rejection was still apparent in her eyes. He continued to kiss her hair, a quiet plea to see her face, but she refused to turn around. The night moved forward until he became settled with the thought that he had a lifetime ahead to win her back.

His kisses finally came to cease. She thought he had dozed off and moved under his arm. She opened her eyes, now drained of tears, and wondered if he was feigning his sleep. He misconstrued her evasiveness, yet to some extent he was right. She couldn’t distract herself from a certain memory, how he had scolded her to keep her hands off him the night they first made love, that she lay there yearning to feel his love but ending up cold and empty. Under a different circumstance, she would have easily believed tonight was the right moment to surrender, but despite their passionate lovemaking, in her mind nothing had really changed.

The breath on her skin turned warm as his face slid lower to her nape. Slowly she turned around, careful not to lift his arm around her. She reached for his face and lifted his head back to the pillow. Instinctively she leaned toward his chest and closed her eyes again. At one point she panicked at the thought that he might wake up and find her this near to him, but the faint sound of his breathing lured her to stay. Shamelessly, she gave in. Just for this night, she allowed herself to drift into his arms. Later in the night, when it was obvious she was already in a deep sleep, he bent his head a little and planted a soft kiss on her hair, his arms gently squeezing her body next to his.

Outside the operating room, Ji-heon and Dr. Son sat three seats apart with coffee cups in their hands, both looking away with nary a word. It had been more than an hour since the operation began, and having to wait in each other’s presence only created a smothering atmosphere. Pressing his broad shoulders against the chair, Dr. Son cleared his throat and said, “I know I’m not welcome. But I’m asking you to give me some time.”

Ji-heon looked sideways and asked, “Time for what?”

“I want to be there when she sees again.”

“Were you asking for my permission just now? Because I know very well you don’t mean it.”

Dr. Son looked at the ceiling and stretched one arm across the seats. “You’re right, but I’m just telling you out of courtesy. I don’t want to be driven away again, especially not in front of her.”

“I’m marrying her soon,” said Ji-heon nonchalantly.

“When?”

“Whenever she’s ready.”

“Well then I’ll give you my best regards when that happens,” Dr. Son said, sneaking a look at Ji-heon and giving him a smile.

Ji-heon responded by emptying the cup in one gulp, ending the conversation the best way he knew how. As he discarded the cup in the trash bin, the door swung open. Dr. Han came out pulling his mask down, revealing a smile on his face.