The Fangirl // Horan [temporarily on hold]

Chapter 4

Clearly, I have been hugely missed on Tumblr.

It is obvious. All my favourite fandom account welcome me back the second I post a Hunger Games meme.

I can't help smiling.

God, I have missed this hellhole of a website.

***

The next two days are spent blogging and skipping several classes (Psychology, to be exact).

Why did I ever decide to go to college?

Actually, no, my mom decided.

But I'm surprised I got in. I'm not the brightest bauble on the tree.

Mostly, though, I just don't want to see Niall. I know why he's here, now. After several hours of Twitter stalking, I find out that after One Direction split, Niall decided that he wanted to live normally for a while. For some reason, he decided to go to college in Michigan.

I haven't a clue why he would choose Michigan, but he did.

I'm fucking glad he did.

I keep thinking about the Coffee Bean Incident. I haven't been back there since, and I have no intent to, though I really miss my Slurpees.

But no. No, I can't. Just look what happened the first time I spoke to him.

I made a fool of myself, that's what happened.

And what if he's there again?

What if he talks to me again?

I think my ovaries just exploded.

Not in a good way, for once in my life.

However, I know that I need to start working on my assignment for American Lit, which is a thousand word essay on Ernest Hemingway.

He wouldn't go to the library, right?

Not Ernest Hemingway. Niall.

I almost facepalm at my idiocy. This boy (well, man, I suppose, he's twenty one now) has been my idol for almost five years. Why am I suddenly so shy? Why can't I be one of those fans who can act cool and casual around their idols? I'm just...ugh. Just me.

Maybe if I was pretty, or skinny. Those girls seem to have more confidence.

And before you say something like, "No, you're beautiful! Don't hate yourself!" I just want to say that whilst I am definitely not beautiful, I don't hate myself. Well, not all the time. I'm not fat or anything, I just think my hips are too big and my chest is too small. Why couldn't it be the other way around?

Hah, dream on, Ross.

Maybe if I become a world famous fanfic writer I'll be able to afford it.

I haven't actually written some of my fanfics in weeks. I have three, a Next Generation Harry Potter one (About Scorpius Malfoy and Albus Potter), a Hunger Games one (about the 73rd Games, the one before Katniss and Peeta's) and...sigh...a One Direction one (a series, in each fic one of the boys find a girl and stuff). I really ought to.

Maybe I'll bring my laptop to the library and write after I've finished working.

Yeah, I'll do that.

It's four pm now, and I've only had one class today (Biology, at midday), and I'm bored as hell. I'm in my dorm. Mina's nowhere to be found (probably getting high, I've seen her coming back to the room with glazed eyes and a blank demeanour), so I have the room to myself, as I so often do. I am reading now, a fanfiction about Zayn Malik. It seems to be going pretty well so far...and oh, wait, he's got fangs.