The Fangirl // Horan [temporarily on hold]

Chapter 19

A/N: Nooooooo I hated writing that last chapter!!!!! But HUGE dedication to @HumpingStylesInACar for the new cover!!!! I love it so much!!!! And @joaniall, you made a really good guess last chapter, so this is partially dedicated to you as well.

Chapter 19

"Please," Niall says, nose brushing off mine. "Please. Please forgive me. I love you. Please."

I inhale sharply. My mind is telling me to forgive him. But my heart isn't so sure. "I want you to tell me why you said what you said." My words are cold and short.

I feel him wince, like my words cause him pain. "I...I can't," he says.

"Bullshit."

"If you knew then you wouldn't be saying that."

"So tell me, and then I'll know."

"Just..." He steps away from me and looks at me. "Give me a second."

"Are you going to tell me?"

"No." I open my mouth to yell again, but he interrupts me. "But someone else is."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I say loudly. "Are you too chicken to tell me yourself?"

"No, I just think it's better if you hear it from this person," he says simply, and pulls out his phone. He turns away from me and dialls a number. He holds the phone up to his ear and says, "She needs to know now. I'm sorry, but I can't keep it from her. But I think you need to tell her. I'm sorry."

He holds the phone out to me, and I take it with shaking hands. I lift it to my ear and a horrifyingly familiar voice speaks into my ear. "Charlie?" my mother says, sounding upset. "Charlie, baby, is that you?"

"Mom?" I say in disbelief.

"Oh, Charlie, did he tell you?" She sounds hysterical.

"Tell me what? What does everyone know that I don't?"

"Oh..." I hear her sob, but I'm not taking anyone's shit anymore. "What is it?"

"It...i-it was me. I told him to deny your relationship."

No. No no no no no NO NO.

"Mom," I say. "You didn't."

"I did." She sniffles. "I did. I'm sorry."

"You're..?" I shake my head in shock. "You're sorry?"

"Baby, you have to understand-"

"Understand what?" I shriek. "The fact that my own mother wants to keep her daughter's relationship a secret? How could I possibly understand that?"

"I was worried for you...all those hateful people out there..."

"I can handle them, Mom!" I shout. "I cannot believe you!"

"I'm so sorry, baby! Please, honey, you have to forgive me."

"How could I possibly forgive you?" I think of something. "How did you convince him to say that?"

"Charlie..."

"What did you do?"

"It was only in your best interest, Char, you have to believe that."

"Tell me!" I yell.

"I...I..." she stammers.

Just then Niall answers for me. "She offered me money."

I blink several times. Then I turn my attention back to my mother, who is still stuttering, and shriek, "You offered him money?"

She stops stammering abruptly, and I know I'm right. "You're....you're just..." I am speechless. "First Dad, now you. What is it with my parents turning on me these days?" I press End Call, and give it back to Niall. I really, really want to cry. But I think I've cried enough either in front, or because of Niall Horan, and I'm not about to do it again.

A thought occurs to me. "You didn't...you didn't take the money, did you?"

"No!" He looks horrified. "No, of course I didn't. Do you really think I would?"

"N-no. No. But I had to check."

"But, Char..." He takes both of my hands. "I don't agree with your mother, in any way. But I still said what I said. Because she was right about one thing. You will get some hate, Charlie. But I do think you can handle it."

"Course I can," I say in a muffled voice. "I'm tough as steel."

We both sort of half-laugh. I suddenly feel awful. "I'm sorry, Niall."

"You're sorry?" he laughs in disbelief. "You should still be screaming at me. You did nothing wrong."

"I screamed at you earlier."

"Because of what I did."

"Shut up. I can be sorry and you can be sorry, okay?"

"Okay. Sorry."

"Sorry."

I want to hit myself. I got so mad at him over something that wasn't his fault. Then I didn't even get mad enough at my mother, when I found out that it was her fault. I feel so mean, and that sounds so childish, but it's true.

"Um.." Niall suddenly looks sheepish. "You're not still mad at me, are you?"

"I...I don't think so."

"Is it bad that I want to kiss you?"

"No." I probably should still be mad at him, even though it's all my mom's fault, but I can't find it in my heart to be angry any longer. With him, that is.

He stoops down and kisses me, once on my forehead, on each cheek, on my nose, which makes me smile. Then he captures my lips with his, softly, gently. He pulls away far too soon.

"I think...I think the other lads are waiting for me," he mumbles reluctantly. "I probably need to explain all the yelling."

I giggle tearfully. "Are you crying?" he says, worried.

"Happy tears," I mumble. "Happy. Thought you were going off me for a minute back there."

"How could I ever get tired of you?" he says. "I love you."

It's still strange, to hear him say that. Before college all I dreamed of was hearing him, (or Harry, or Liam, or Zayn, or Louis) saying that he loves me. But now I'm actually hearing it, and knowing that he means it...and knowing that I love him back....it's the best feeling in the world.

"I love you too," I tell him.

"I'm still surprised to  hear you say that," he shakes his head. "After all I've done I would've thought you hated me."

"Only sometimes," I joke. "Sometimes you're alright."

"Gee, thanks."

"Anytime."