Crooked Hearts

3. Say Something

3. Say Something

'And I, will stumble and fall. I'm still learning to love, just starting to crawl.

  "Have you ever been in love?" Aria asked me one day.

  The question took me quite by surprise. Not just because it was completely out of the blue, but also because it was not a typical Aria-type question.

  "Nope." I say. "But then again, I'm only fifteen, Aria. I've still got some time."

She was silent a moment, "Me neither." She said.

"Why did you wanna know anyway?" I ask.

I was expecting to get her usual shrugging-of-shoulders. She seemed to do that a lot. But instead she remained silent and then finally said, "Because love is so rare nowadays."

That stopped me. I stared at her for a moment, "It's not." I say. "Lots of people I know are in love."

She shakes her head, "Think about it Harry, why do a lot of marriages end in divorce these days? Why do so many people have cheating problems in their lives?" she asks me, "Because what they think is love, isn't really love. It's lust. It's lust for more. More sex, more money, more reasons to be accepted into society."

I thought about it, in a way, I suppose that was true. But not for everyone. Not everyone in the world was lustful bastards that only lived for the pleasure of wanting more.

"That's true," I say. "But not everyone is like that. You have to give people a bit of credit, Aria."

  She snorts. "Why?" she asks. "Why do I have to give them credit? The world is nothing but a cruel bastard that keeps on offering more to people. They manipulate people into wanting more than they already have. The people of this world are so caught up in seeing the things they don't have that they lose sight of the things that matter."

At this point I'm taken back, I've never seen Aria outburst like this. Never seen her eyes look so cold and unforgiving. This isn't the Aria I know.

"Hey," I say cupping her face with my hands. "Is there something wrong?"

Her eyes fill with tears, and I brush them away with my thumbs. She shakes her head and pulls away from me.

"I'm sorry." She says. "That was judgmental and cruel." She trails off for a moment, "I'm just so tired of all of this." She says, gesturing to the world around her.

"All of what?" I ask.

"It's nothing."  She says.

I didn't press her to speak after that. But I knew there was something she was holding back.

______________________

"Thank you Lima! You were absolutely incredible!" I shout into my microphone.

"Thank you so much for being here tonight! That's very sweet of you, we love you so much!" Liam says.

"Best fans in the world! Hands down!" Niall shouts, making the crowd scream louder. I'm exhausted. I feel like I want to lock myself in a hotel room and sleep.  But the boys and I have one last song to sing.

"This next song, is the song that started it all," Liam says, "It's the first song we ever released as a band and we want to thank you all so much for making our dreams comes to life! We'd be nothing without you."

The crowd knows exactly what the song is. The screams grow louder, as the first notes of What Makes You Beautiful start to play.

'You're insecure, don't know what for......" Liam starts.

I remember the exact day the lads and I heard the song for the very first time. We were supposed to choose one song out of a ton of songs, and that would be our first single. I remember when he heard it, and we all knew that this song was gonna be the one. The song itself talks about an insecure girl who doesn't know that she's beautiful. Though the lyrics are a rather cheesy was of putting it, there's a whole lot of truth in the song. Many girls these days are insecure all because of the world's standards for beauty. But beauty is relative. I'm going to admit it, I like girls with pretty faces. But my standard of pretty may not be other people's standards of pretty. So many girls nowadays are being bullied now all because of the society they live in. It's a shame really.

It now gets to my part and I start to sing, "Baby, you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell, you don't know....."

This song reminds me of Aria. And the way she never knew her own beauty until I pointed it out.

  The song ends. We take a bow. And then we're gone. Sometimes I find it a bit wrong that the fans should be separated from us. The security guards are everywhere, watching every single move that takes place. I find that wrong somehow, that we should be unable to interact with our fans. After all, they deserve to know the depth of our gratitude towards them. But I suppose they just do that for the sake of our safety. It's their job, and they're just following orders.

I pass a group of teenage girls calling my name. I turn around to smile and wave at them. They squeal some more and I notice that they are being blocked off by railings and a batch of security. One girl tries to ask me for a picture but a security guard blocks her off.

"Hey," I tell the guard, "Let her have one, it's just a picture."

The guard says nothing, and I take the phone from the girl's hand.

"Hi, how are you?" I ask smiling.

I notice that tears are brimming in her eyes, "I'm good, how about you?"

"I'm good." I say, I hold the phone up and take a picture of the two of us.

"Thank you so much." She says, her eyes shining with joy.

This is why I love my job. Having that kind of impact on a person's life feels so surreal. And I'd just keep doing this for the rest of my life, because I love it so much.

*Author's note: The lyrics above are from the song 'Say Something' by A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera. The lyrics belong to the producer and the artist. Not to me.