Crooked Hearts

16. Secrets

'Tell me what you want to hear, Something that will light those ears, Sick of all the insincere, So I'm gonna give all my secrets away'

We're on the road once more. I'd been asleep in my bunk on this moving tour bus for about fifteen hours, and so far, the boys haven't done anything to bother me, which is a first. We're almost done with the South American leg of our tour, the next stop is Europe, the 5 Seconds of Summer boys will be joining us by then. I smile a little, those boys were our opening act for our last tour and we all became fast friends. And to be honest, I really do miss those emos.

The first thing I hear when I wake up is the sound of arguing. I sit up in bed immediately, nearly bumping my head. I quickly get out of my bunk and head outside, where all four lads and Pablo are arguing I can tell this is a pretty heated argument, because all of them look extremely serious. Out of the corner of his eye, Niall spots me, and heads towards me.

"What's this all about?" I whisper.

Niall shakes his head, "A video of Zayn and also Louis I think, smoking weed went online."

I cringe, I knew they were smoking weed, but we were all careful not to get that into the public eye, but now?..... "Oh God," I say, "So, what are we going to do?"

Niall shakes his head again, "The fans are going crazy, but they're not mad at us, they're mad because other people are judging us."

"So... they're defending us?" I ask.

"Yeah," Niall says smiling a little, "This is going to be a tough week."

I nod, the fans are so dedicated they'd jump to our defense no matter what crazy thing we do. The thought makes me smile. Their unconditional love for us really is heartwarming, I will always and forever be grateful to the fans.

"I think we should apologize." Pablo says sternly. "Simon has already called and said that he was going to apologize to clear up the tension, but one of you has to apologize."

Liam nods, "I'll be the one." He says. "I'll make a couple tweets apologizing on behalf of all of us."

All the other boys nod, that would be the best option I suppose. "I don't think any of us should mention it." I say suddenly, getting everyone to look at me.

Zayn frowns, "What do you mean, Harry?"

"I mean, after Liam apologizes on our behalf, I think we should just shut up about the whole thing, pretend it never happened." I say.

The rest of the boys nod, "That seems like a good idea." Pablo says, "And also, you boys should all try your bests not to get caught again, please?"

Zayn nods, "Look lads, I'm sorry, that was really careless of me."

We all nod and acknowledge his apology. But deep down I wish he'd just quit. I wish both he and Louis would just quit. I mean, I love them both, I love all by boys, they're like brothers to me, but I just wish they wouldn't. Smoking weed is a seriously bad thing to do, I mean almost everyone knows that, But smoking weed isn't an uncommon thing in this industry. I mean c'mon almost every single artist that ever lived did it.

But I just hope that one day they'll find the strength to quit. I slip my hand into my pocket and I suddenly remember. Aria's notebook. I pull it out and stare at it.

I want to keep reading it, but not while the boys are here. I want this to be a private thing. I go back to where the lads and I bunk and pull Aria's notebook out from my pocket. I open it up right where I left off and begin to read.

September 18, 2007 Cheshire, England

I'm scared. Dad is drunk and he's shouting downstairs. He's shouting at some girl he bought home. I'm crying on this page right now as I write it, hidden in the closet. I hope he doesn't find me. Please. Why me? Why does this have to happen to me? This is bullshit. I'm shaking and crying. I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate this house. I hate my dad. I miss mum.