Crooked Hearts

19. Falcon

Niall looks up and sees me. He gets up and starts to talk immediately. "Look Harry, I didn't mean to read it, but your bag toppled over and all the contents fell out. I was just curious... okay?" He exhales and looks down, "I just- I'm just confused okay? What exactly is this?" He asks, holding up the journal.

To be honest, I'm a little glad he found it. I've wanted to talk to someone about it for awhile now, but I just didn't know who. I was going to talk to my sister Gemma about it, but she's a bit busy now. I look over at Niall, who's still looking down at his socked feet. Niall may not be serious most of the time, but I can talk to him.

"It's Aria's" I say.

Niall looks confused for a moment he frowns and tilts his head. "Aria... OH."

I nod, "I found it. That day. In her hoodie."

"The hoodie she gave you...?"

"Yes."

Niall sighs and flops down on the couch. "This journal is some emotional shit man." He says, holding the journal out to me. I get down on the couch beside him."

"I know." I say soberly. "How much did you read?"

Niall looks sideways at me, "A couple of entries, but it seemed too private to keep reading."

"Niall, I don't know what to do." I say burying my face in my hands, "I found it in her hoodie, and I have no idea what to do with it. I've read a bit of it, but that's about it." I look at him for help, but he just keeps staring at me like I'm some puzzle he can't fix.

So instead I keep talking. "I've contemplated burning it, but I just can't. I want to read it Niall. But I'm just not sure if I should. I don't want to become some privacy-stealing asshole."

Niall nods, "I know what you mean..... you said she disappeared right? That she left."

"Yeah....why?"

"Maybe she wants you to read it mate. Maybe this is her way of explaining to you." Niall says. "Honestly, this isn't any of my business, but I saw some entries concerning you. Maybe she left it in the hoodie on purpose."

I nod slowly, taking in his words. "Maybe..." I say.

"Are you interested in reading it?"

"Well.... I guess I am. I've spent the past five years wondering what the hell happened to her, then suddenly, on the biggest tour we've ever had, she shows up. I just... I wanna know what happened." I say.

"Do you still fancy her?" Niall asks.

I frown, considering that for a moment. "When we were in Rio, I thought I did, and even right now I'm still wondering where she is, or how she's doing...  but..."

"But you're not sure are you?" he says, "You're not sure if you still like her."

I shrug, "I fancied her when we were younger, but I got over her. But I'm just so bloody confused."

"It's a pretty shitty confusing world isn't it?" Niall says.

I nod, "Yeah."

"I think you should finish reading it." Niall says, looking at me now.

"Why?"

"Because what Aria experienced was terrible, I only read a few entries but I can tell that it was terrible. People like Aria are scarred. And sometimes all they want is to be accepted, or for someone to understand the way they feel. And maybe, she just wants you to understand." Niall says.

"That-" I say, "Was the deepest thing I have ever heard you say." I smile.

Niall grins a little, "Yeah well, I usually don't so heavy stuff."