Crooked Hearts

15. Entries

I stare at the sketch. A white rose so detailed it looks like a picture out of a magazine. It could be impossible someone could do a realistic pencil drawing as good as that. I run my fingers over the sketch and black led stains my skin so I know it's a true drawing.

I take a deep breath and consider my options. I could burn it.... or I could read it. To be honest, I really do want to read it but I also do not want to be privacy-stealing jerk, but giving it back is certainly not an option. I flip the page and my eyes fall on the first entry.

It's a diary.

August 31, 2007 London, England

I'm moving today. Again. I hope this school will be better than the last. I doubt it though. I really don't want to move in with dad, after what he did, but it seems I have no other options. Grandma doesn't want me anymore, nobody does really. Dad's trying his best to persuade grandma to keep me, he hates me I think. Whatever. It doesn't matter anyway. I guess I'll just try to disappear like last time. Try to blend in, so that I won't cause trouble. I hope there'll be someone who cares in Cheshire.

I hope.

Liam's loud banging on the door knocks me out of my trance.

"What?" I demand.

"Harry, your clothes are out here."

"Okay, thanks."

I look again at the passage in the notebook. I feel strange reading this. This is something so deep and intense and private, I can't help but feel like I'm intruding. But I can't help myself. This notebook is an account of her time spent in school, at home, everywhere. It's basically an account of her life.

Maybe if I read this, I'll get some real answers. On why she left that is. I know I probably shouldn't keep reading but before I notice, I've begun to read the second entry.

September 5, 2007 Cheshire, England

The school is fine. Nobody was mean to me or anything. I'm alone though. I ate lunch alone, I studied alone, I spent the whole day alone. I think it's better this way. If I stay away from people and they stay away from me. Because whatever I may try to do, I will never fit in. It's best if nobody knows about my life or what I have to endure. I just have to be invisible and nobody notices. Except for one boy.

His name was Harry Styles

I nearly drop the notebook. I'm staring at this page with disbelief and horror. And only now do I realize what horrors Aria must've experienced in her life. I can't even begin to imagine it. I inhale and try to steady my heart as I continue to read the passage.

Harry asked me if I wanted to be his friend. I said yes. He's nice, and I like him. I wonder what'll happen tomorrow when I see him at school. But right now I'm writing this in the broom closet hoping dad doesn't find me. I don't like whips.

Oh God. Whips? That bastard. I feel an all-consuming rage settling over me. The bastard whipped his daughter? That's child abuse and should be reported to the government. I mean disciplining your child is acceptable, grounding them and such. But whips? I cringe at the horror of it.

Louis' shouting is the only thing keeping my mind in the sense of reality right now.

"Harry! What the hell is taking you so long? Jesus, does it seriously take a man that long to wash his hair?"

"I'll be out in a minute!" I shoot back, rolling my eyes.

I jump into the shower and practically wash for like three minutes. I still feel slightly dirty but much better. When I step into the room all the boys look up at me.

"Harold, you better not dress in here." Zayn says, pointing a finger at me, "I don't want to see you naked."

"Yeah man, nobody wants to see that tiny dick of yours." Louis adds, laughing.

I cross my arms over my chest and give Louis a death glare. "Tiny?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.

"Yeah mate. So tiny you wouldn't be able to locate it even if you had a microscope." Louis says laughing hard.

"So tiny, you wouldn't be able to see it even under a telescope." Niall adds, jabbing Louis in the ribs laughing so hard.

Louis nods in agreement.

I shake my head at them, "My dick is so huge, if I gained a million pounds, you'd still locate it under the fat rolls." I tell them.

"That is untrue." Louis chucks a pillow at my chest. "Just get out of here and get dressed! We have work to do!"

I get dressed in the bathroom quickly, hiding the notebook in the pocket of my jeans before I step out. I won't share this with the boys. Because this is something way more private and personal.

__________________

I'm sat in a chair in front of Paul, our tour manger, Pablo, our manger, and Paddy, one of our main security guards. They're all yelling at me.

"So let me get this straight Harry," Paul says holding his finger up, "You got lost in the mob, so you hid, then you got lost in the city, is that it?"

It's obvious they aren't buying it.

"Yes!" I say, trying to sound as exasperated and annoyed as possible. "Look guys, I already said I was sorry, I haven't got any sleep, I'm knackered, hungry, and pissed, and I want to go to bed." I say.

Pablo shakes his head at me, "Harry, you do realize that your actions do not just affect yourself, but the whole band as well?"

I nod, "Yes."

"And if you get bad press, all the boys get bad press as well."

I'm aware of this fact. And I know that press, good or bad, is still press. But the thing is none of the lads or I want to get bad press.

Paddy nods at me and says, "Fine, go to bed Harry, but just know this, the next time things go bad, please just head to a near security station instead of wandering around the city?"

I can tell he wants to end this.

I nod, "Absolutely." I say.

Paul nods, "Good."

Once I'm out of the room, the lads I get on the tour bus immediately. We're already late. On the bus, I fall into my bunk and instantly fall asleep. Thanking God for the sweet relief.