THE αят OF LIVING [clifford au] on hold

heaven {lydia}

❝I wish I knew

what goes through

your mind as you

slowly slip into

oblivion.❞

-

I don't believe in heaven.

And as much as I [quite unhealthily] ponder the whereabouts of death and such, I don't believe in hell either.

So, when Sylvia, our boob-less cancer counselor brings up the topic of an afterlife, for whatever reason [I think she was higher than the sky, but that's just my opinion] I of course, do not have much to say on that matter.

And so when it is my turn to talk I [bitchy as ever] tell it like it is.

"First of all, where the fuck was Jesus when I got cancer? Like damn, at least give me some sort of sign that you, y'know, exist and all that shit. Second of all, isn't it a bit like segregation or some racial shit like that, how this whole afterlife [or something jacked up like that] is divided between good people and bad people? Like seriously, get your ballsacks together and let the poor burning people into your nice luxury homes and feed them or some shit like that."

There is absolute dead silence [the kind where you can tell people are judging you] before, quite unexpectedly, Calum starts clapping.

And then Lucy.

And then Ashton.

And then the session is over, and on my way out, Sylvia hands me a rosary and a bible and tells me to pray [like did she not hear my whole heaven/hell discrimination rant or something?]

Before handing me a booklet on getting baptized.

So no, I don't believe in heaven or hell, to answer your question, Sylvia.

But I mean, I like the idea and all, but it's just so. . .irrational.

And that's just me. Believe what you want, that is simply how I see things.

-

okay so i'm not sure how you guys are going to react to this.

I am not trying to offend anyone or force them to believe what I believe.

please remember that this is a story and that this is a fictional character.

DO NOT TAKE THESE WORDS TO HEART.