THE αят OF LIVING [clifford au] on hold

hell {michael}

❝And if heaven

won't take you,

then hell doesn't

have to exist.❞

-

For some reason, I always seem to find myself thinking about death.

Because if life is hell, and heaven won't take me, then surely there isn't an afterlife?

Or maybe I'll be one of those creepy-ass ghosts you read about in horror books.

I'd much rather just be dead, and done with it.

Or maybe [as usual] I'm just the awkward thing stuck somewhere between life, death, and being a creepy-ass ghost.

As you can see, I think about this way too much to be healthy.

Hold that thought, I can't even remember that last time I was healthy.

And lord knows how may god-forsaken times my mother has told me that "you're not going to die."

But lord knows how many times I nodded and pretended to believe her.

So no, I do not believe in heaven.

And hell mine as well be life it self-it seems like it anyways.

I think I've run out of logic [and sanity] and quite frankly, oxygen.

These are the things I think about, sitting in my bed, listening to the sound of machines telling me that I am [somewhat] alive.

-

lyd and michael are gonna meet soon and i'm really excited.