Seasons

Chapter 1

The sound of adolescent gossip and immature corruption filled what would be empty silence in my high school cafeteria. Hundreds of people crowded together for what the government calls ‘Food’. I don’t have a favorite or least favorite part of my day, all the activities seem to melt together by the end of it. For me, every day is like pressing the replay button on a funny video on Youtube. It never ends, people watch it over and over and still laugh and make fun of it. Like a game. My life at school and home are like a game being played by hundreds.

My routine is pretty much the same every day. I sit alone, I talk to a whopping zero people, and I usually waste time over thinking the smallest details. Things such as ‘Why does the sky have to be blue? Why couldn’t it be pink...maybe it is pink but I’m the different one who sees blue...but other people call it blue...maybe my blue is your pink. Why is the sky blue?’. I think a lot about other things as well, such as life and death, why won't mine come sooner? Those type of deals.

It’s not every day you’re stuck in a rut going in circles for hours on end until you sleep and restart again unless you’re me. My life seems to be a never-ending sequence of repeated events. I can almost pinpoint what is going to happen next in my day. Speak of the devil, here she comes. Jennie Kim, the most hated- I mean most popular girl at my school. She has the hair, the looks, the body, everything, even the guys. If she wanted a guy at the school she had him. It’s almost like she has every male wrapped around her pinky finger. She could break the string at any moment, all those broken hearts and broken promises.

“Hey you, why are sitting alone again?” She taunted. The lunch room looked in our direction, everyone knows what happens now. I stay quiet. “Answer me, I know you’re not deaf or a mute.” I could sense the annoyance building in her voice. I stayed quiet. The book I was reading was knocked out of my hand and fell to the floor. “You think you can ignore me and act like I’m not here?” She crossed her arms and glared at me once I looked up at her.

“News flash, she isn’t you.” Lisa spat out from behind her. Lisa, she is one of Jennie’s little friends, the posse, the rumor spreader. Once something is gossiped about and she finds out, it’s all over the school, the internet, even in other countries. Her fanbase is so big she could stand in the middle of a football stadium and do nothing but breathe, yet the place would be sold out. For what exactly? I have no clue. It probably has something to do with the fact that she is Jennies best friend and Jennie is well...Jennie. Don’t ask me about the social popularity scale because I would be surprised to even see my name holding the last spot on the list.

My eyes shot to Lisa then back to Jennie. “Aw...Sweetie.” Jennie picked up my milk carton. “I’m at the top of the scale.” She chuckled pouring the milk over my head. The lunchroom went wild. They roared and laughed, threw food at me and called me names. Jennie and her group of b- I’m going to stop there. Everyone laughed at me as I quickly gathered my belongings and ran out of the lunchroom. I dipped into a bathroom and began to clean myself off.

ARUGH! Why does this happen to me?! What did I do that was so horrific in my past life that I deserved to be treated so poorly and unfairly!? I sigh to myself before picking broccoli out of my hair. This is just great, Just wonderful. But, it’s whatever, I’m used to it. Yeah, it still hurts, but I barely feel the pain. I should probably rinse the milk out of my hair or it would start to smell bad throughout the day. Quickly, I rinse my hair out in the sink making sure the scrub away any residue that the filmy substance may leave. I dry my hair off with paper towels and brush my hair out with my fingers because I don’t have a brush with me. My hair is messy and very frizzy but there is nothing I do about it now. I need to get to class.

Walking the halls is literal hell. People always step on the back of my shoes and snicker when I catch them talking bad about me. Books get knocked out of my hand and paper flies everywhere, all the time. People even stick gum to my bag or my clothes, sometimes even my hair. I wish for a miracle. I loathe my existence. No matter how hard I try I still can’t think of a reason that I am the target, why people bully me.

I sometimes go down the list of kids from grade before, my actions when I was younger, or if I did or said anything wrong. The more I think about it I always come to a dead end. I’ve always been a kind respectable kid, I would never do anything to hurt anyone. Violence is wrong, bullying is wrong, and I've always gone by that. Since I was born it was drilled into my head, be kind to others, do to others what you want done to you, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything. The sad reality, especially in High School, those sayings go straight out the window. Then why do I still go by them?

There are so many questions I have about the world, about life. When I die I would like to ask God, if he does exist, why did he make me like this? What have I done wrong? Was there any way I could have fixed it? Then my mind started to wonder...Would this be happening to me if I believed in a God? If I believed he was real would he make life easier for me? Thoughts flooded and poured into my head. Maybe this is happening to me because God is upset with me, because I don’t believe in him. Would he believe in me if I believed in him? I doubt it, I don’t even believe in myself