Innocent and Psychopathic

Chapter Eight: Innocent and Psychopathic- F*ck Your Feelings,

They all laid in the same bed that night, Lenns arms vined around Mottos waist. Her eyes pasted to the back of Jantje's head.
Jantje laid there, paranoid. She stared blankly at the China cabinet her sister owned. They both would exchange tea cups for Christmas, piling them in their cabinets. "You're staring at me." She mumbled.
Lenn flinched and awkwardly looked away. "A-Ah, well." She mumbled.
"You got along with us all..." Jantje muttered, gritting her teeth roughly.
Lenn furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "W-What do you me-" she started.
"U-Us! t-the siblings! Marina, Grijs, Maartje, JJ, Lye, M-Me!" She yelled and Lenn quickly sat up.
"Let's take a trip outside psycho your gonna wake my son." Lenn growled and got up slipping a cigarette into her mouth.
—
They both stood, the cold air bringing blood to the surface of their cheeks. "You want a ci-" Lenn started and froze up wen Jantje spoke.
"You don't know nothin." Jantje muttered snatching the lit cigarette out of Lenns hand, sliding in between her blood coated lips.
Lenn knitted her eyebrows together in confusion. "W-What do you mean?" Lenn mumbled.
"You have no idea who I am, what we went through, she probably hasn't told you anything." Jantje growled.
Lenn looked at her, offended. "T-Tell me then, who are you, what did you go through?" Lenn stated, standing up straighter to show superiority.
"The voices laugh and I just want to smack my head against the fucking table. "Get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head." If I could, I'd drown them... but then I'd be choking on my own misery.If I could, I'd stab them... but then I'd have a knife sticking out  of me. If I could I'd drown them in alcohol... but then I'd have alcoholism and numbness. If I could, I'd burn them at the stake... but then all I'd see are flames. If I could, I'd choke them. But then I'd have cold hands at my throat. If I could... if I could, if I could. But I don't want to die... I did when I was younger..
B-But I had 3 siblings, and I couldn't just give up on them." She breathed heavily and tears ran down her cheeks. "I-I don't e-expect you t-to understand t-though." She, gritted her teeth roughly, looking into Lenns eyes.
Lenn stared in shock, then shook her head. "B-But I do!" She croaked our through her tears. "Y-You best not tell me I don't Lady! I-I saved your god damned sister from an attempt! I-I let her stay at my place, and where were you, huh!? y-you could have been there for her!" Lenn said giving Jantje a firm shove. "And I! I thought those knifes in my kitchen were pretty nice, and if-if it went for your sister in my life, I-I woulda f-f*cking ended it !" Lenn shrieked, her pupils dilating with adrenaline and anger.