It Started With A Kiss, How Did It End Up Like This? (Muke)

I got out of bed and carried the same routine. Go to get cereal and then hang out. We have a long time off touring because we just finished like 5. It's not that I don't like touring- it's just after a while of playing guitar your fingers would rather be chopped up. Our dresser was the worst.

Flashback

"Michael you wear this short sleeved Nirvana shirt and black skinnies." The dresser said

"Can I wear a long sleeved one?" I complained

"No." She said

"What about bracelets?"

"Fine if you wanna fucking die." She said storming off. I grabbed my bracelets and they cover up to my elbows on both arms, which I'm grateful for because I have scars to cover, if Ashton, Calum or Luke, oh man not Luke, find out they'll hate me more than they do. I literally thought by 18, I would be done with it, it's all over. But no, I'm still the same 13 year old, still cuts himself. Nobody knows or cares.

End of Flashback

"Guys, Twitcam time!" Ashton yells from the other side of the house. I ran to the room and Ashton and Calum sat in the front, while me and gorgeou- Luke took the back. We watched the rates get higher as we tweeted it. We were answering questions when one scared me.

"Amy has a question for you Michael, it's why do you wear long sleeves and bracelets all the time?" Calum said aloud

Fuck fuck shit.

"W-Well, I uh wear long sleeves because I get cold easily and bracelets because I uh don't know? I just like them?" I said stuttering a bit.

Luke mumbled something to Calum and I yell "Shut up Luke." And his face just gets closer and I could feel it towards my side. I turn to face it but I ended up closing a kiss. Sparks. Sparks. Sparks. All around the place almost like it would set the house on fire. Luke pushed away and said

"Ewww." He groaned

I hope the camera didn't catch it.

"Did you guys just kiss?" Ashton asked

"I don't fucking know, Michael kissed me! The fuck!" He said spitting and storming out. I was hurt- to say the least. I walked out looking at my shoes, I won't cry in front of Ashton or Calum, I fucking won't. After I knew I was out of there sight I ran to my room, slamming the door and locking it. I fell to the floor and began crying. I fucked up, and enjoyed it a bit.

Luke hates me.

Calum hates me.

Ashton hates me.

Everyone. Hates. Me.

I'm the annoying fucktard of the band nobody likes. I'm the one in the band who tells fan self harm is wrong, yet I do it myself. I curled in a ball and wouldn't stop crying. I'm fat and ugly. Look at my hair for gods sake, its fucking purple mixed with every fucking color you could find. It's ugly and so am I! Look at my weight. It's too high. I'm surprised I wasn't kicked out for it. I heard a soft knock on the door.

"Michael?" Ashton said

"Leave... Me..... Alone..." I said

"What was that?" He asked

"I'm trying to sleep go away." I yelled back

I heard footsteps go away.

You would think, 18 years old, in a known band, I wouldn't be using a blade to cut open my skin. But your mistaken. I thought life would be so easy but it has no point. I wake up, eat, do a show, sleep. Don't get me wrong, I love playing and touring. I just don't see the point in life.

I curled into a ball and let the tears flow. The door sadly opened to reveal Luke.

"What?" I said fixing up fast

"Why did you kiss me?" He asked

"Why did you kiss ME?" I asked