Shattered

Can I Trust You?

The moment I got to the hospital, I demanded that I see my mother. The nurse at the desk tried to calm me, but I wouldn't listen. Eventually, she brought me to my mother's room. Before we went in, the nurse looked at me and said, "You're mother is in a very bad condition. She....... She is probably going to need surgery."

Surgery?! There is no way we could afford that! My mom is living off of the child support my dad pays. Has my dad even been notified? I wondered. "Can I please see my mother now?" I asked politely. The nurse nodded and let me in. My mom didn't look bad at all. She was pale, and her eyes focused on me with a blank expression.

"She...... She looks fine." I said, confused. The nurse returned her gaze to me. "Looks are different from conditions. It's all internal wounds. All over her body." Her voice shook. "The reason the surgery will be so expensive is because.......W-we have to do a lot to save her." I stood there, emotionless. For a while I stood like that. My mind zoned away. I thought back to when I was 4. My mom looked so happy. Her belly was so round. My dad looked at me and explained, "You're gonna be a big sister!" I wanted to do everything to make my new sibling happy.

Then the day came when Kwang was born. He was so cute. I vowed to take care of him. My mind flashed to when he took his first steps. I was so worried he would fall, but he ran right over to me. Then, his first word, Noona, (big sister) We were so proud of him. When he started school, at home of course, and got his first good grade. When he rode his bike without training wheels. Made his first basketball shot. First soccer goal. Played his first song on piano. Completed the monkey bars for the first time. Lost his first tooth.

Then I thought back to the day we went to the park. I knew the date. April 6th. I knew all the details. I remembered everything so clearly. It was horrifying. Suddenly, I came back to reality. The nurse had sat me down. I looked at the clock. I had been thinking for hours. The nurse looked at me sadly. "Your father was notified and payed for the surgery. It finished just a few minutes ago."

I looked up, hopefully. "Is she okay? Will everything be alright?" I asked, excitement lacing my voice. The nurse's face only deepened with sorrow. "Ms. Sang.............. Your mother didn't make it. She lost too much blood. She's......... She's d-dead."

She's dead.

I couldn't. I won't. Time flew by, every day faster than the last. I only remebered bits and pieces. My dad was notified about my mother's death. They wanted me to go live with him. I refused. The doctors were worried about my condition, and put me on medication. Lots of it. I saw things. The world was a rainbow of highlighted colors. But, secretly, I stopped taking them. They never helped anything. I needed to get out of that situation. One day, I had the chance.

J-hope was always so nice. He asked me out, and I hurridly said yes. We didn't take it slow. Pretty soon he made out with me by the lockers in between every period. What I never noticed was Suga's looks, comments, or pain.

Suga's P.O.V.

She's such a slut now. Why is she tripping so many times? How come she is so unspecific? She never says she loves him. It's not like her. She'd never act the way she is now.

Yuna's P.O.V.

I thought things were fine. One day, I was looking for J-hope. I had a false love for him, just me telling myself I was in love. That's why it hurt so bad when I found him on top of Seungah, the school slut. That did it. Everything was in tatters. Millions upon millions of glass shards had piled up inside. Why? Why did evrything that I loved have to breake? What did I do?

I ran up to the school's roof. Standing by the egde, I looked down. The perfect height. What was the point of being here, anyways? My little brither died, my parents got divorced, my mom died right after, my crush was the one who killed my brother, I'm high on painkillers, and my boyfriend just cheated on me! Everything was meant to be this way. I tooke one step. I want to do this. I took another step. I need to do this. I jumped.

Strong arms wrapped around my waist.

"Yuna! Stop!" The person holding me yelled. I was brought back to my senses. That voice was beautiful. It was the one that I've been wanting to hear. But it's the one that killed Kwang. "Yuna! Why did you jump?" He asked. I looked at Suga's beautiful eyes.

"Because. My brother is dead. I've lived the past two months without any consciousness. The doctors insist on more painkillers. J-hope was my getaway, but I never really loved him. That's why I cried. Because my weak lifeboat sank. Because my mom died. Because I didn't trust you enough to be there!" I sobbed loudly.

Suga laid me down gently. "Yuna, you've been through too much. I want you to forgive me so badly. I never got over my middle school crush for you. I will never forgive myself for partaking in Kwang's death. Please, please, take me back."

"How can I trust you?"

"I will never do anything to hurt you, Yuna."

"But how do I know you're not lying?"

"Because I don't lie to girls that I love."

And then, he kissed me. His soft lips took all of my pain away. I only needed him. I fully trusted him. His kiss wasn't like J-hope's. Those were rough and forceful. Yoongi kissed me softly, gently, waiting for me to respond. I finally did, and realized how much he loved me. How much I loved him. I trusted him so much that I believed as long as I was with him, I was safe.

"Promise me you will never give up on your life." He mumbled after pulling away a little.

"I promise." I answered.

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life."

"Would you be my girlfriend, Yuna?"

"Of course."

My head leaned against his shoulder, and my thin, weak body fell into his arms. My vision was darkening, but I wasn't blacking out. I was falling asleep, contented. I loved him so, so much.