The Love That Can't Be

Morgana 2

"Concentrate, Morgana," Merlins calm voice said in my ear. I've been concentrating harder than he thinks. I began feeling light headed as the wind begins to pick up a bit. I put my arm down and sat down out of breath. "You're trying too hard. Empty your mind and concentrate. Don't push it. I know you can do it."

"I just need a break. This is harder than it looks!" I exclaimed. Merlin sat down in front of me and looked into my eyes.

"Did I ever tell you the real reason I came to Camelot?" I shook my head, "I was in Ealdor. My friend, Will, and I were helping with the crops one day. We began messing around, and I was having so much fun that I didn't even notice the small flames on my fingers. I was sitting on the ground taking a break. I placed my fingers down on the crops we had harvested. A small stack of grain had caught on fire. I tried to put out the fire as Will went to get a pail of water. My magic failed me. After he came back and put out the fire, we had lost two stacks of grain... Nights after, I was having a dream I don't remember now. My mother woke me up saying I was having a nightmare, and as I looked around, everything in our small house was a mess. Chairs knocked over. Blankets on the floor. Papers on the floor, on the bed, the shelves. I had caused a big wind blow in our house without knowing it. I couldn't control my powers. So, my mother sent me to Camelot the next week to find Gaius. He was to help me get my powers under control and he succeeded." He explained to me.

"So, the one I should really be getting help from is Gaius?" I questioned him. He chuckled and shook his head.

"No, he may have helped me control my powers and give me helpful tips, but he did try to shelter me away from using them. He didn't like how 'freely' I used magic. Yes, he was nervous I would get caught in Camelot, but he didn't understand that if I didn't use any magic, I wouldn't be me anymore," He explained.

"No wonder he didn't want you to tell me," I stated understanding why Gaius wasn't any help.

"Do you understand now?" He asked, "I was losing control of my magic, but with time, I was able to control them. If you practice enough and take your time, you too will have complete control of your magic. Then we can begin on spells and potions."

"I understand. Thank you, Merlin," I smiled at him. He smiled back. There was an awkward silence between us before Merlin fixed it.

"So, shall we begin again?" I nodded, and we both stood up. "Slowly this time. Empty your mind and concentrate on the power you're expelling from your body." I raised my arm once again. I closed my eyes and concentrated on what Merlin was saying. Each word rang in my ears. I focused on each breath I took and how softly Merlin spoke. Power. That's what I felt ooze out of me as the wind began to pick up. The trees began dancing in the wind I was creating. I opened my eyes and watched as the trees danced wildly. A small chuckle escaped my lips as I watch what I've done. My eyes land on Merlin who is looking at the trees as well. The wind whips at him, but he stands still gaping at his surroundings. His eyes meet mine. I drop my hand and everything goes still once more. "You did it!" He smiled joyfully. His goofy smile. Makes my heart skip a beat each time.

"You doubting me already?" I crossed my arms and smirked at him.

"No! I'm just really proud of you," he replied. We were close now. His goofy smile began to slowly fade and so did mine. Merlin cleared his throat and walked away from me to pick up his jacket off the ground. Three weeks it's been like this. He gets nervous when we're alone and close together. Some how when he's training me, we end up really close. I don't mind it, but he does. It breaks my heart. I don't understand why he won't just look at me without getting nervous. When I look at him, it fills my heart, so why is it so hard for him? I understand that he's my teacher and yes, he's a servant, but I can't help falling in love with him. I've been falling ever since I've first met him. My feelings grew when he started teaching me. So, when he does this, I couldn't help but snap at him.

"Why do you do that?" I questioned him irritatedly. He turned towards me confused.

"Do what?" He asked like he didn't already know. He put on his jacket.

"You're always turning away from me when we get close. You always go serious after something happens between us," I explained.

"Nothing happens between us, Morgana. Nothing can happen between us," he didn't look at me.

"What do you mean nothing can happen between us? Why the hell not?" I yelled. He slowly looked to me. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment before he replied.

"I'm a servant, Morgana. If Uther or Arthur find out that I've been sneaking around with you to help you with 'your magic' and they knew I had magic, they'd blame it all on me and kill me. Us being something more than acquaintances would only make things worst. Us being friends is bad enough," He told me. I wanted to scream at him that I don't care what Uther or Arthur thought, but I knew he was right. If they find out Merlin had magic by finding out we were sneaking around, they would kill him without hesitation. But then again, who said they would find out?

"Why must we have to bring Uther and Arthur into this? This is only between you and me. I don't care if you're a servant or a nobleman! All I care about is you, and I know you feel the same way. So, don't pretend like you haven't been feeling something," I argued.

"The way we feel won't matter when it comes to class. I'm a servant and you're a lady, a ward of the king," he told me. He makes me so mad sometimes.

"Merlin," I stepped forward, but he stepped back and raised his hand, signaling that I shouldn't go near him.

"We're done for today," he said without looking up, "I think we should have a little time apart. Five days should be good."

"Five days?!" I exclaimed.

"It's what's best for you and me right now. These training sessions are starting get a little personal for the both of us," he stated as he began to walk away. I ran after him.

"Merlin, stop! Please don't do this!" I cried out for him, but in the end he didn't stop and he didn't reply. He just kept walking away, farther and farther away.