Impractical (1)

29

She was afraid to shut her eyes. Every night, she would scare herself awake at the thought of falling asleep. Her thoughts were haunting her, preventing her from receiving the proper amount of rest. She and Brian would stay up for hours with her anxiety spiked and her heart racing  in her chest. 

It was almost three o'clock in the morning and she hadn't had a wink of sleep. She was tucked beneath Brian's arm as they leaned against pillows propped against the headboard. His eyes were tired, but he was strict with the decision to stay awake with her, "What did your parents have to say?" She asked to break the silence, her hands holding her stomach as she hesitantly looked to meet his, "Were they angry?" 

"They were concerned." He hummed uncomfortably, not wanting to push the topic, "What happened while I was out there?" He asked hesitantly, shrugging, "Murr mentioned Curly stopped by?" 

"You missed her big entrance," Olivia shrugged. The small smile on her lips began to fade and he noticed, but before he could ask she spoke, asking him quietly, "Do you love me?" 

"Of course, I love you," He hummed quickly, angling his body to face her, "Bae, I've always loved you." 

"Will you love our daughter?" Olivia asked him a moment after, watching his happiness become forced, "Brian, she needs a father figure. I can't do this alone, and if --." 

"Don't say it." He begged, his voice escaping more forcefully than intended, "Olivia, if you --." 

"If I die, you'll be fine." She urged as her eyes locked on his, telling him, "She needs you." 

He straightened his posture, pulling his shoulders back as his eyes hesitantly glanced down at her hands wrapped around her stomach, "She's kicking!" Olivia mumbled excitedly as she looked down, a giddy grin on her lips. 

His movements were robotic, but he reached forward to place his hand over hers. She kicked, and his heart fluttered for a small moment as he interacted with his unborn child for the first time, "She needs you." Olivia repeated, her voice falling when Brian pulled his hand back into his lap. 

The room fell silent again and she shifted in her place, mumbling, "I need to ask you something," He was slow to look up, watching as she stared down at her hands, "If something happens to me, what will you do?" 

"What do you mean?" He asked, his voice quiet as her eyes moved to search his features. 

"Are you going to run back to Curly?" She asked, adding quickly, "I forgave her, but I don't want her anywhere near my daughter." There was a slight pause, and her shoulders fell to slouch as she searched his hesitant eyes. She could feel the uncertainty through the silence, and her voice broke as she spoke, asking him, "Was I ever enough for you?" 

He was silent as his mind searched for the words, "Bae, you are more than enough." He told her honestly, reaching to hold her hand in his, "I was dumb, and I made a mistake." He told her, saying, "I should have never turned away, but I was afraid." 

"It's always easier to keep digging down, rather than to fight through the layers that keep piling on top of me," He told her, gently tightening his grip on her hands, "I know I don't deserve you, Bae." He shifted in his place, but his eyes never lost hers, "I know I can't erase what I did, but I do love you." 

"I never cared for Curly, I only wanted to make you jealous, but she thought there was something more to it," He shrugged his shoulders, telling her, "As long as you are here, I will try to be brave for you." His voice broke and his eyes moved to look at her stomach, "I will try to be brave for our daughter." 

Olivia's heart leaped in her chest and she leaned into him, pressing her lips to his for only a moment. He had referred to the child as his own and she was silently giddy with excitement, "You're going to win this fight, Bae," He hummed hesitantly, his eyes looking back up to meet her eyes, "I can't do this without you. I can't raise a child --."