Keef and Lance go to McDonald's

48 4 12

by ThatOneGayGirlEmily

by ThatOneGayGirlEmily

Keith was just your ordinary, everyday, angsty, emo teen. And like every other teen out there, he was a teen who needed to satisfy his hunger for Hot Topic Trash....but first, he had to satisfy his hunger for a Big Mac at McDonald's.

It was 3 in the morning and Keith was having yet another mental breakdown knowing that My Chemical Romance had broken up. Then he came to the realization that he was fucking hungry as fuck.

So he got out of bed, slipped some ripped jeans and a P!ATD t-shirt, and slowly crept over to Lances room. He noticed that the door was opened just a crack, so he peeked inside only to see Lance jacking his diddly von dangle to pics of Shrek.

Keef was sh00k af. He marched right up to Lance and fucking one punched his beautiful ass face. *Insert OPM opening here*

Lance looked up at Keef with kawaii sugoi eyes and blooshed dark red like the fabulous paladin he is. "K-Keef-kun...I didn't notice that u were watching meh jack my pee pee 2 Shrek-kun..." He said and closed his laptop, throwing it out the window before Keith could see more of the sexii shrek pictures.

The laptop hit Coran in the face and it caused him to fucking explode. There was blood everywhere and it was verii sad :,-( One liek=One prayer

"Lance. Letz go 2 McDonalds and get sum boneless hamburgers with extra dicc on the side." Keith said and dragged Lance out of his room, because he was veri hungry 4 the foodies.

"Anything 4 u, Keef sempai." Lance said and stood up straight to face the emo fuck. Neither of the boys acknowledged that Lance had no pants on, and that he still had a big ass boner.

"Butt first...( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)🌚🌚" Lance said and dabbed Keith's ass down onto the sofa, getting on top of him. "Letz fucc bby. Im veri horni rn and I'm hungri 4 ur cummies." Lance said seductively *le insert Lenny faceus here( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"K then. Get that man meat out and plug my mincer." Keef said and spread his booty out for Lance.

"Okie. Lol >_< XDD" Lance said and rammed his dingaling into Keith's meat hole, blood splattered everywhere and Keith's ass booty was completely and utterly destroyed. Keith mooed loudly and nutted.

*SQUISHY SOUNDS*

*PAINFUL SOUNDING MOANS*

*LOTZ OF GAY SEX*

*THRUSTS*

*CUMMIES GOING EVERYWHERE*

*AHEGAO*

After awhile Lance pulled out and sat up. "Keef-kun letz do it again I'm still veri hornii."

"Nah Bitch fucc u I'm going to McDonald's. Plus, I'm not a fuccing gay and it's not liek I liek u or anything.......baka." He said and walked out the door, completely oblivious to the fact that he was ass naked.

Pigeon saw Keef out of the corner of her eye and threw Shiro at him, knocking his naked ass to the ground.
"AYE BETCH WHAT TF WAS THAT 4?!l" Keef S C R E E C H E D at Pidge.

"Go put some goddamn clothes on, Jesus Christus wtf is wrong with everybody in these kinds of fanfics?!" Pidge said becuz apparently, she's the only sane person in this crack fic.

"No." Keef said and flipped her off.

"KEITH, IF YOU DON'T PUT SOME GODDAMN CLOTHES ON THIS INSTANT I WILL RIP YOUR MICROSCOPIC DICK OFF AND BASH YOU ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT!!" Lance yelled from the inside of the house, fully dressed as if nothing had happened.

"OH YOU WANNA GO!? LETS GO THEN!! SQUARE GO ROUND!! GET OVER HERE AND FITE ME HOE!!!" Keith yelled back and turned to face Lance.

"I'LL FUCKING BURST YA--" Lance yelled and charged at Keith, causing Keith to run at him equally as fast.

Just then, Shiro got up off the ground and dabbed the boy's asses to the ground. "SHUT TF UP YOU TROUBLED LESBIANS!!" Shiro yelled at the two and threw them inside, slamming the door shut.

Pigeon came up behind Shiro with a nonchalant look and crossed her arms like the sassy smol bean she is. "Wanna go to Wendy's" Pidge asked.

"Nah, Wendy's is nasty. Let's go to McDonald's." Shiro said and turned to face Pigeon.

"K"

There, I said it. Roast me Wendy's. ROAST ME.

I think I might actually have a serious, legitimate problem why do I write these things....