Chicks Before Dicks

J&J

It's 3pm and I'm currently lying in bed staring at my bright pink walls trying to recover from everything that has happened today. Jess and Jacob left about half an hour ago and I got into bed straight away, even though its only early afternoon. I'm shattered. I should probably explain what's happened in the last few hours. 

Jess and I walked as casually as possible out of the Starbucks bathroom. I sat as far away from Matt as possible and barely acknowledged his presence; I have more important things to worry about. 

'Hey J' I said, using Jacobs nickname. He looks up from staring at Jess adoringly. Half of me loves having a couple like them around because it reminds me that it is possible to see the same person for three years almost every weekend and not get bored however the other half (my bitch side) finds soppy things extremely cringe so consequently often ends up in extremely awkward situations when it comes to Jess and Jacob. 

'We're going to leave now. Mila and Matt are going to stay here,' I order, trying to make it look like I want to leave the two lovebirds alone. The reality is that Jess and Jacob really need to talk and Jess is clearly not in a state to do it by herself. 

'Okay,' he responds, eyeing me suspiciously.

The car journey was pretty awkward with Jess and me in the front and Jacob innocently trying to make conversation from the back seat. It's pretty self explanatory that my best friend I were not really in the mood to make small talk. When we finally got home, I gestured for Jess and Jacob to follow me into the kitchen. 

'Do you guys want anything to drink?' I ask. 

'No,' Jacob quickly replies, before Jess has a chance to say anything. 'I want to know what's going on.' Clearly he’s now picked up on our odd behaviour.

'Jess has something to tell you,' I exclaim, glancing at Jess apologetically. 

Jacob’s stern expression becomes one of worry however he quickly recovers.

'If you're going to break up with me, please don't do the whole "it's not you it's me crap,"' Jacob jokes even though he’s evidently anxious.

Jess smiles however I cannot bring myself to. It's probably going to be the other way round when he hears Jess' news. I suddenly feel angry, towards Jess for being careless and towards Jacob for doing this to her. I automatically regret these thoughts when I remember that it probably was not their fault and they can't stop it from happening. 

'Spit it out please, I'm shitting myself here,' Jacob says. 

'Shall I leave?' I ask Jess whose face is now paler than the white blouse she is wearing. 

'No, please stay,' she answers, fighting back tears. 

J is too busy playing with his fingers to notice the wobble in Jess' voice however when he looks up and notices the redness of her eyes he immediately jumps up and wraps his arm around her. I can't help but feel overwhelmed as she, for the second time that day, buries her face into his shoulder. This time she holds in sobs, however her cheeks are tear stained and she mumbles into his shirt. 

'I'm pregnant' her voice cracks at the end. 

There’s a short pause where none of us look at each other however when I look up I noice Jacob’s wide eyes.

He gulps and remains silent, awkwardly hugging her, not knowing what to do next. 

'I'm so sorry, I thought I was on the pill, I forgot to take it, I'm so stupid please forgive me,' Jess mumbles.

We both wait, fearful of his reply.

'Don't,' he sternly says, 'don't you ever say it was your fault. Whatever happens you have to PROMISE me you will not blame yourself. Accidents happen; some people are unfortunate enough to have them happen at times like this.' 

She nods but a tear escapes her eye and she hastily wipes it away. It's so unlike her to be like this and it really hurts knowing that I can do nothing to get rid of the problem.

'It's going to be okay. I love you baby please don't cry,' he whispers, I can see that her tears are breaking his heart. 

'We will help you,' Jacob gestures towards me. 'When are you going to book the appointment?' 

'Thats the thing...I want to keep it,' she exclaims quietly. 

Another awkward silence fills the room.

'Oh...um...right,' he mumbles. I cringe at his uncomfort. Jess bites her lip in attempt to stop the tears falling. 

'You don't have to help if you don't want it's just I've always wanted a baby and I don't want to be a murderer...,' she mumbles. That's when I realise; Jess doesn't necessarily want to keep it; she just doesn't want to kill it. Destroying someone's life before they've even had a chance to live it is a cruel action and Jess has never been one to commit such things. For this reason I am sure Jacob and her parents will understand her decisions- well, I hope. 

'I would never ever leave you,' Jacob says gently, 'it's your decision and I respect that and you KNOW that I will help you with whatever choice you make. I love you so much and I'm not going to throw that away for anything.' 

He leans in to kiss her and I can't help but feel weird. When they finally stop for air, he wipes away her tears and holds his hand over her stomach. 

'You're the best thing that even happened to me and it would an honor to help you raise our child,' he says. 

I can see her eyes light up with happiness at his words and hope one day I could feel so strongly for someone. 

'I love you J, and for that reason I'm going to give you a chance to walk away from this mess. If you stay, I can't promise I'll still be attractive in eight months when I'm four stone heavier,' she warns him. 

'Babe, you know for a fact that you would still look like a princess if I dragged you through a bush and poured a bucket of mud over your beautiful head.' 

She laughs and I inwardly cringe. They kiss again for a good few minutes. I busy myself by cleaning away all the crap on the kitchen surfaces. My parents have only been gone one night but the house is a tip. The bad thing about being an only child is that no one helps with cleaning up and you have to do it all yourself. 

When they've finally finished their passionate make out session they turn to face me and smile brightly. I am relieved to see Jess has more colour in her cheeks. 

'You guys can stay here for abit,' I smile in return. 'It's eleven thirty now and my parents get back at six. I need to clean up so probably best you're gone by about four.'

We spent the remaining time watching soppy chick flicks and eating anything we could find. Unfortunately my cupboards are very rarely stocked up with decent food so our snacks mainly consisted of cereal and apples. We tried avoiding the subject of Jess' pregnancy however we knew at some point discussing it would be unavoidable. After our movie marathon J was the first to speak up,

'Me and Jess have a lot to talk about so we should probably leave you in peace.' I ignore his awful English and smile brightly.

'Okay but try not to do anything stupid,' we laugh as they realise what I'm implying. One baby's work enough, thank you very much.  

I can't help but feel sad as they walk away, both my friends are so happy with their boyfriends. 

Fuck. Matt. I totally forgot about that.