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CHAPTER ONE. ━━━━━━━━━ Do not go gentle into that good night, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
DYLAN THOMAS, IN COUNTRY SLEEP ━━━━━━━━━
RESISTANCE BASE, D'QAR. 36 ABY.
THE RESISTANCE HEADQUARTERS ARE LOCATED mostly underneath the surface of D'Qar, therefor the cafeteria is lit up solely by bright, blinding electric lights that hang from the blank ceilings.
The place is rustling with noise and crowded with people. Rey is still getting used to that. On her sandy homeplanet of Jakku it had always been quiet and the desert had been endless. It felt like there had been no life before the desert and she had been sure that there would be none after it. She cannot remember a time when dust didn't crust around her eyes or when she didn't have to shield her eyes from the burning sun.
With a single droid her life had taken a drastic turn and while she still has the need to return to Jakku every now and then, she is grateful. Still, a little less artificial lighting wouldn't hurt.
Chewbacca sits next to her on the cold bench and growls loudly. Rey had been alone for a very long time on Jakku. The human population there is small, and the alien population only slightly larger, so the meaning of friendship was something entirely and utterly unknown to her. She suspects that Chewbacca needs her presence even more than she needs his after what had happened on Starkiller Base. With General Organa busy at all times, there is no one else who can truly understand his grief.
On the opposite side of the table sits Poe Dameron, whom she had met only hours ago, huddled in the medical ward keeping careful watch over Finn. His plate is filled to the brim with food while she has only porridge sitting in front of her.
When he had set his tray down, inadvertently startling her, Rey had been slightly shocked. "That is enough food for a whole week!" she had exclaimed and the ashamed look on his face hadn't been something she could stand for long and so she had taken a berry off his plate and plopped it in her mouth.
He had flashed her a warm smile and since then they had sat in comfortable silence, Rey stealing some of his blueberries from time to time.
"What exactly are these?" she asks him after eating an especially sweet strawberry. "I never had this kind of food on Jakku."
"Why, Rey that's the reason you're here now," he responds before picking up a raspberry and tossing it in his mouth. "Well, that and fucking off bad guys, right?"
His laugh and smile are infectious but within seconds his face takes on a haunted look. First, Rey thinks she did something terribly rude and she looks over at her new furry companion but he seems more interested in absolutely anything else. Then she realises that Poe's eyes are not on her anymore. Carefully, she turns her head a bit to the side so that she can see the rest of the cafeteria better, yet she still doesn't understand what he is looking at—the room looks quite unspectacular to her—but maybe it's rather who he is looking at. Rey's eyes roam the place slowly and after a second or two she is sure who has caught his eye. She can't really put her finger on why she is so certain. It's a feeling.
There is a woman, skin pale, hair white and tied up in three little buns down the back of her head similar to the way Rey always wears it, with the greenest eyes she's ever seen. For a faint second she looks into their direction but then she quickly walks off, within moments disappearing behind a corner.
Rey has a lot of questions but on Jakku she had learnt very soon to shut her mouth or suffer the consequences, so she rather stays quiet.
"You can ask, y'know," Poe tells her after a minute or two, smiling lightly.
She is embarrassed that he noticed her interest and starts shaking her head, feeling her face reddening. There is a silence surrounding them that is hard to break. Poe's friendly eyes calm her. "She was captured by the First Order like you were. And when she came back..." He swallows. "She doesn't speak much. Especially not with me."
Rey's eyes are wide with concern and it takes her some seconds to for an answer. "Is she a friend?" she tries cautiously, afraid to overstep her boundaries.
The man in front of her shrugs and in a way the motion seems helpless. "She was. But not anymore," he answers. "They must've done horrible things to her. Like they did to you and me. Only that she was gone for weeks."
Rey doesn't try to remember. Remembering hurts and there is already so much pain in this galaxy. Yet whenever she closes her eyes, it is the dark mask she sees. "How did she get back, then?" she asks, trying to change the topic.
Poe shrugs once more. "She escaped, I suppose. One day she just showed up, bruised and quiet and since then she has not said a word about it to anyone." He cannot look at her anymore, his eyes cast downward in shame. "No one ever came to rescue her, you see. We were so sure that she was dead and well... the truth is that we still have no idea how she survived."
Rey had been alone all her life, so she hadn't expected anyone to rescue her from the grasp of the First Order. But she remembers the feeling when she had realised that her friends had come for her so well. Like her heart was going to burst with joy. Being left behind must feel the exact opposide, mustn't it? And she recounts that feeling, as well. There had been days on Jakku when Rey had realised that her parents had simply forgotten and abandoned her, that she wasn't important enough to come back for. It had ripped her apart and sometimes, it still does. So she partly understands why the woman feels betrayed.
"Kit was always the last one to leave a fight and the first to take a shot," he continues reluctantly.
"That's her name?" she asks even though it's silly. It's just that she doesn't know what else to say.
"Kaden, actually," he smiles sloppily for a second before turning serious once more. "Kaden Saero. I called her Kit back then—"
Rey knows better than to keep talking.
Poe longs for the days where he'd make her laugh and smile. Something tugs at his heart. A feeling, long buried. And suddenly there are tears in his eyes.
