Short Stories

Opposites Attract... Not

She has a whole future planned, of marriage, sex and.. Kids. She'd talk about it at the drop of a hat. I had nothing planned out, just determined to not marry or have kids. She was 16, I was 15. I read, she... Played on her phone.

It didn't matter where I was, she'd find me, ensnare me in her silky, sticky web, luring me outside to hang with people just like her. People whose parents didn't care that they were out at midnight.

It was summer. I guess that's why we hung out, because there was nothing to do and she gave me a reason to go outside. I don't think there was a time I liked going with her, though. We spent a lot of our time at the library, trying to figure out what to do that day. We went so much, I actually got sick of going to the new library. I grew insecurity because with everything I wore, she'd make a disgusted face and say, "You're really wearing that?" I'd ignore it but it didn't mean it didn't hurt - I just had my own style, after all. Afterwards, we'd go to the library and try to figure out what to do. Which was never different, it was always the library. What was once new and amazing to look at was now plain, boring, simple. It'd make even a bookworm who loved to spend their days at the library want to go back home, do something other than read.

But boy, was I happy when school rolled around. I still felt my heart drop to my stomach at the thought that school was coming to a close but I finally did what I should've done the minute she mentioned the word sex. The S word. Or even kids, the K word. I complained to my mom, told her everything, told her that she was just a year older than I and she was already talking about wanting to have the S word and the K word, although my mom wants me to get married and have kids, she never approved of talk like that. I didn't either. It made me feel uncomfortable, the whole thing felt unnatural to me It was like explaining sex to a three-year old to me. It was like an atheist talking to a Christian about God, different rules, different outlooks, different outlook. How did we ever get along?

I honestly don't know what my mom did, I remember that my mom complained about that kid's mother for a week and a half because the brown eyed girl's mother spread an awful rumor about my own mom, though, I never paid attention enough to know what it was, but I never did see the brown, wavy and tangled locks again for the rest of that summer. That was, until, school started up.

There he was, at the bus stop, waiting for the school bus, just like I was, to go to school and get the day over with. We ignored each other though and I was relieved for that. Until two years later, Junior year, and she tries to strike up a conversation with me but I only listen, I don't talk back. It wasn't because I was being rude, it as because I had nothing to say to her. As she spoke, she seemed a bit more mature now than she was two or three years ago. She does have a boyfriend after all...

That year, I grew more confident with myself, said "F it," and wore what I wanted. Which was a red and black plaid shirt with a plain black tank top underneath. I wore my signature batman sweater, because honestly, I couldn't find any other sweater and it was cold out. I wore blue jeans which were tucked into my black high heeled boots, which I told my mom for my costume and I do need to practice walking with heels considering I never wore heels before. That day, I felt amazing, I felt cute, too. The heels hurt physically but emotionally, they made me feel good, who cares what others would think?

I only wish that I had listened to Chester Bennington all those days when he would belt out the words that could've helped me then.

I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end,

It doesn't even matter

But he was right about both things,

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

It doesn't matter. It never did matter, did it? Chester Bennington always seemed to be right and I just wished I had listened to him, maybe she wouldn't have been such a bad influence on me and maybe I would've never had grown so insecure about what I wore. At least now, I don't care. I wear what I want, I say what I want and no one can stop me - freedom of speech, right?

(RIP Chester Bennington, who died in June 2017, song was In The End by Linkin Park)