the new boy // jaeyong

rockabye

- - 2 years later - -

jaehyun p.o.v

i'm in europe right now. my family couldn't afford the expensive life in korea. so, i had to leave the school, payment was too big and my mother lost a job again. i think that you all understand that one woman can't take care for two kids if she is without job. my dad had quite big apartment now, so all of us could move in. i started to work in flower shop, it wasn't big job with big payment but at that moment i was very satisfied with. everyday i needed to arrange flowers, too bad my english isn't good enough so sometimes i had problems with costumers, you know when you need to communicate and give them long answers. right when i was cutting of the trones on the red rose, my ex boyfriend came in my mind.

how is he doing? did he really kept the baby? he didn't send me any pictures and informations if they are doing okey. actually i don't know nothing what is happening in korea with my friends now. well, we used to be friends, i don't know how they feel about me now. if they even remember me, maybe they already forgot who i am.

ah, Taeyong i wonder what name you gave to our child. i still can't believe but even if i ran away from my love, and tried to hide myself i was still a father. the father of an innocent soul.

many, many times i tried to connect with him, i really did. i phoned him often but he never picked up my calls, so after half of a year of waiting for his answers i gave up. i didn't tried to tell Taeyong where i am, why i'm not in korea anymore. and more then everything i wanted to explain why i didn't wanted this child.

so first of all, i love kids okay? my little sister who turned 7 years old few weeks ago is asking me all the time where uncle Taeyong is. it's so hard to tell her, that we aren't together anymore, and more then anything it's hard to explain that now she isn't small baby anymore, i'm having my own child. the child that i should take care of, but instead i agreed with my family, they didn't accepted the news about pregnant boy so well. actually the idea to ran away from him and never explain anything was their idea not mine. no matter how financial poor i am, i would never just leave Taeyong like this to struggle.

but i'm just a selfish bitch, a selfish bastard who watched over his ass instead of his loving ones. i adored the child me and Taeyong created, every night before i fall asleep i imagined how would it be, if we lived together not fighting, me having a proper job and Taeyong successfully finishing his studies. but like, the song is saying, it was only just a dream. this was the small thing i wanted that Taeyong would know, but it was too late, i left him. i left him all alone, in this big cruel world.

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taeyong p.o.v

my nine months pregnancy weeks passed actually fast, and i clearly remember the day my legs just couldn't support my body anymore and i fell. luckily Yuta and Hansol were with me, so they quickly drove me into the hospital. i clearly remember the shocked faces of doctors when they placed me on bed and put hospitas clothes on. the doctor who helped throught my babies birth said to my parents that i am too weak, and that they need to do caesarean section. i was too light, not having enough kilos and that baby might be weak as well or also having huge problems. when i wake up from sleeping i didn't had big tummy anymore, where is my baby? i sat on the bed and took a look around, i didn't spotted any child's bed where the baby should be.

i started to panic, what if? what if baby died? what if he didn't make it? 

i remember i was shaking because of scary thoughts and tears started to fall onto my cheeks like waterfalls. the nurse heard me and she came to check if i'm alright.