grateful ❥ choi youngjae

xxvi

i woke up and i felt fresh for once. i felt like i had a very good nap.

i had forgotten that i was holding [name] as she was sleeping.

i then felt my hair touching and sticking to my cheeks. i forgot i cried.

i let go one of my arms from [name] wiping my cheeks. my hair already looks like a mess. i wonder if my eyes are red.

coincidentally, [name] began to wake up, and i almost felt ticklish because she's hugging my waist. i wanted to laugh.

"youngjae?" when i heard her voice, i jumped, and [name] started to do a weak laugh since i just woke up.

i started to let go of her, and i looked at her. i responded to her saying, "hey, did you sleep well?"

"definitely! i never—woah, are you okay? your eyes are red!"

i wasn't thinking straight because i felt worried, so i straightforwardly told her "i was crying—i mean—"

"crying?" she gasps, and she rubs her thumbs over my dry trail of tears. apparently, i didn't wipe them off well.

"why were you crying?"

"eunyoung." i started to blush, as she was still rubbing my cheeks. suddenly i felt my tears again, i felt surprised myself.

"youngjae, stop..don't cry, please." she then started to sit up, and i did as well.

i then say, "i know, i know. i'm trying, but i can't. when i hugged you, i thought about the things eunyoung and i did together."

"oh..you just miss her, youngjae. please don't worry. your friends are always there for you. i'm always there for you—"

oh god. i started to cry harder. i heard my own sobs and i covered my face.

"[name]..i'm sorry. i hate her. i hate her so much. but all the times we spent together, i can't stop thinking about her."

i see her looking at me, i can tell that she doesn't know what to do. her face then started to soften, and she comes near me.

she started to embrace me, my head on her neck.

we both laid down again, still hugging and she starts to play with my hair to make me feel better.

"youngjae, it's okay. calm down, everything's fine."