HAM (Hard As a Muthaf**ka)

Glass Half Full

Glass Half Full

                  Two days had passed, since I had been at Reagan’s pad. I spent my time workin, goin to school, and for as long as I could, watchin Mom’s house. Max knew I was in the area…yesterday she had brought me some leftovers from dinner- pot roast and potatoes, with carrots and green beans. The steam and the savory smell of it all, was vacuumed up by my big ass nostrils. “Damn, this smells good. Thanks Max,”

                  “Have you been home to check up on Teja, yet?” she asked.

                  “Not yet…Imma go do it tomorrow,” I said. “How’s Moms?”

                  “I dunno…she goes to work, comes home…doesn’t say much,” reported Max. “She’ll go back in her bedroom and put on her Marvin Gaye CDs, after dinner,”

                  I continued to eat.

                  “Jacoby?”

                  “Umm hmm?”

                  “What compelled you to get into sellin?” Max asked. “I mean, Deiddy had a good job, we were doin okay…why did you get into slangin?”

                  “You know- I can’t even exactly really remember…it was the summer, and I wanted a pair of J’s(Jordans). Mom and Dad would not get them for me, because they were $150 bucks…Dad wanted me to fuckin go around the neighborhood, and mow lawns for $5 a yard- I was slighted by that. I ran into my boy Blue- one day after summer school…he introduced me to Mos, and it got started,” I explained. “I delivered a package for $50 bucks…then I started deliverin packages almost every day in the summer, and then I graduated…into sellin. I was a kid, infatuated wit some stupid material shit…now all I want, is for you and Mom to be safe,”

                  Max smiled. “It’ll be okay, Jacoby…I have a feeling that Mom and I will be okay,”

                  It was Thursday…I had finished my “watchin duties” for the evening, and was headed over to the apartment to check up on Teja. I got off the bus at Holmes Station, only to run into Winnie- without Mari…she looked stressed. “Jacoby,”

                  “Hey Winnie, wassup?” I asked, givin her a hug. “How’s the new place? How’s things wit you and yo mom? Is Mari okay?”

                  “Mari is fine,” she smiled, wryly, pushing her crinkled hair out of her face. “He’s at my moms right now…I’m on my way to pick him up. The new place is nice…the carpet aint old and dirty, so I do let Mari play on the floor now,”

                  “How is school?”

                  “It’s good…I’m doin okay,” she said, as we walked to a bench. “J, the police came by the other day, askin about you…askin about Gabe and stuff. Do they think you kilt Gabe?”

                  I looked down, then back up to Winnie. “They think I did, coz you know Gabe was frontin for Mos and I get my shit from Mos…Gabe was snitchin Mos out for a plea deal, and he threw me under the bus too,”

                  “Aw Jacoby,” she said with concern, as her soft hand caressed my face. She then swallowed a little bit. “Somethin is wrong wit Kantrell- he kicked Phaedra out his house earlier this week! Do you know what’s goin on wit him, J?”

                  I let out a sigh. “Kantrell and me aint cool no more. He’s been hatin on me behind my back about shits…I onno why. That nigga is so delusional now, he done hooked up wit Mos, who formed a partnership wit Quint,”