The Smartest Kids Alive (IN NEED OF REVISING)

Chapter VIII

EGHOSA

Music: Intermezzo from Gradius V

Flying on Sam's hovercraft is one of the most surreal things I've ever done to date. Simply the idea of it is already astounding enough, but actually living the experience is a whole new level of excitement.

And the flying itself is pretty smooth, as well. Sam, Heath, and Luke all take turns piloting, switching off every few minutes, and all three of them do a fine job.

With all of this in mind, I'm able to enjoy the ride by simply resting my head on an armrest and staring off into the distance. "This is so awesome..." I marvel. I then turn around to Sam (who's currently piloting) and tell him, "Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity."

"I mean, I didn't really have a choice, but you're welcome," he replies, smiling.

"Where are we even going, anyways?" Avery asks.

"Wherever life takes us," Sam answers, which I take as him saying wherever he feels like going.

Life ends up taking us to the city of Pittsfield, Massachusetts. As this point, the hovercraft goes on autopilot and begins scanning various buildings throughout the city. At one point, its light glows red after scanning one of the exterior walls of some mall.

"What does that mean?" Jack asks.

"It means that there's something worth checking out in there," Sam answers. He then flies the hovercraft into a parking garage, "parks" it, and then asks it what it scanned.

The hovercraft's screen shows us a simple store plaque: "Museum Facsimiles Outlet Store"

"What could be in an OUTLET STORE that would help us?" Mackenzie asks.

"Well, let's go find out," Luke replies.

JACKSON

Music: Frantic Factory from Super Donkey Kong 64

Upon arrival at Museum Facsimiles, the first thing we take notice of is how empty the store is... in terms of people. The store itself is full of all sorts of decor, but the only people inside are workers and one or two shoppers.

That still doesn't stop a very excited woman from greeting us at the entrance with, "Why hello there, young shoppers!" The woman seems to be no older than the age of 60 and no younger than 45. "What brings you here?"

"We're just browsing around," Sam fibs.

The woman buys it. "Oh, okay. I'm Ms. Higgins, the store promoter here. Mind if I show you around?" she asks.

Skeptically, we all nod and follow her inside. Immediately, Elle whispers, "I'm not so sure about this... this might just be my PTSD fear of old women talking, but I don't think we should trust her."

"Relax, Elle. She seems harmless to me," Skylar shrugs.

Me, I'm not too sure I agree. I mean, she's apparently always right in these situations. But I choose to not say anything, and instead go with the pack.

"At Museum Facsimiles, we offer a wide variety of home decor for those wanting to fancy up their residence a little bit, including these quality ornate picture frames. Did you kids know that ornate actually comes from a specific breed of turtle?" Ms. Higgins explains to us as we pass by a sample of picture frames.

As Ms. Higgins continues explaining cool facts about ornate box turtles, Luke whispers to Heath, "She sounds way too excited about this job. Something's up."

"Yeah. And why does she even have this job? Stores don't need promoters, last I checked," I whisper.

"We also provide lovely little letterpress cards," Ms. Higgins tells us, handing us a few sample cards to look at. The one I is a variant on the "Keep Calm" phrase: "Keep Calm and Carry On"
"These are the cheesiest freaking things I've ever read," Sam mutters to himself.