Isn't it weird how some feel the sadness differently.
Some find it's quite and empty. There's this dark loom over you and you feel the coldness of it all. You become a shadow fighting with light. You fold into yourself... Start over analyzing or just letting everything fade. It's not like you had a choice in the first place.
Others find that it's loud and disruptive. There's this anger in it that's unexplainable. So instead we try to explain it. When something unexplainable is explained it's hard to understand... Maybe a few some gets it. But what about the others. They start seeing these people as disruptive.
Sadness itself is empty and disruptive.
Something society tries to contain... To explain... To cure. That's why sadness is often isolation. That's why it's loneliness. It's often voicelessness. Flowers among the leafs. - extract from Zahra foster dairy
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3 February Thursday
Typical Thursday morning starts with me wanting it to be the weekend already and just like every other day in the week it's not. Why oh why does Friday have to be so far.
I got out of bed, did my boring usual routine. Dad was drinking his usual coffee, lu was eating like a pig. I grabbed my breakfast and before I knew it we were already heading to school.
Lexington was at her locker. It was a complete mess. All her books were thrown out and there were random paper laying around. Rolling my eyes at her I couldn't help but be amazed. Every now and then she had a complete freak out and would in her best attempt to make everything feel organized, empty everything out and repack it. It would stay neat for the first few days but in the end, it always goes back to the usual mess. I quite liked her mess though.
"Emma asked me if we're sitting with her today" lexi said while crushing old unnecessary (I'm guessing) notes and throwing it to the other side of her and nearly hitting someones leg.
I made a 'mmmh' sound to confirm that I heard her. And when I made no further attempt to answer, she stopped what she was doing and gave me a eyebrow rise.
"you guys seem to have gotten quite close" I added a shrug to show her I'm nonchalant about this, because I actually was.
"yeah I guess so. I mean she's really cool and all, but this is up to you"
"aggh. Where does she sit anyway?"
She laughted a bit and said "you're so forgetful it's cute." she then carried on with her locker situation while I took out everything I needed from mine.
She finished right before Emma appeared. "what took you so long" lexi said while hitching her bag higher on her back.
"you were right, I got lost but then I eventually found it. I also bumped into lu on the way" oh right, she takes a lift with lexi.
"well don't worry, you'll get the hang of it"
The bell then rang and we were on our way to class. I won't bore you with the details of how it went. Mostly because I just wanted to get to lunch and who needs to relive that boring experience.
Today was just turning out to be a weird day. The weirdest part - me sitting in the same group as my brother. I'll be honest, I see that face enough times at home and I would've gladly protested against having to see it more than normal. But lexi gave me a talking to and said that it would mean a lot to Emma if we eat at least once with them.
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Just Leave
Teen FictionA seventeen year old named Zahra Foster thought the year would be great, after all it always seems like that after new years, you get a new start. But growing up with five older brothers and a dad who still have that inner child in him you don't re...
