Playing The Player

:Chapter Twenty-Six:

I, Hayleigh Grace, was kissing Blake Carter.

His lips were soft, and it would be a lie if I said that I didn't enjoy it, because trust me, I did. One of his hands wrapped itself around my waist while the other cupped my face, and well... it was quite a calming experience. My own hands tangled themselves in his brown messy hair, messing it up just like the way I had always wanted to do. This wasn't a game, it was real, and honestly, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I was feeling something for Blake. Something big.

He pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around my waist, and I didn't resist, pressing my body closer to his. Cliché as it sounded, it wasn't like any other kiss I had ever experienced; and definitely not like the brutal, almost animalistic kisses that Dylan had showered me with. I let out a little breath as Blake peppered me with little kisses on the corner of my lips.

Too soon, he pulled away, and I could feel my eyes fluttering open at the unexpected gesture. Why was he pulling away?

"Why did you - what - " Thoughts jumbled in my head, and I found it incredibly difficult to form a coherent sentence. The basic meaning of what I wanted to say was probably clear though; my hands were still on his face and my eyes searched his. Emotionless. Detached.

Blake leant down, bumping his forehead lightly with mine. "Isn't it all just a game?" He whispered.

I looked blankly back up at him. It was all just a game? Of course it was. It just didn't feel like it. It felt like so much more, even if the feeling wasn't mutual. I shook my head to clear it, pulling away from him and shocking myself when I felt that my knees were wobbly. Was it all just a game? What would happen in the end?

I looked up, to ask what Blake was thinking, but he was already halfway across the room, making his way to the door. He was obviously going to leave, and that was just not cool. It might've been 'only' a kiss, but it did still mean a lot to me. Playing with girls' hearts just wasn't right, and he needed to know that.

"Blake - wait!" I called out, hurrying over. I planted myself firmly in front of him, planning to give the little speech that I had, a minute ago, in my head. Suddenly, I couldn't remember a single thing I had been planning to say, and the first thing that came into my head popped out. "You can't just kiss me and leave without an explanation."

He didn't say anything, just looked down at me as though I was wasting his time.

"I mean," I started to blabber, "It's just rude you know, like, girls hearts, being a player, it's not right and -." I forced myself to stop talking; I wasn't making any sense and I was just embarrassing myself. What was even happening? What was with Blake? He must have some personality disorder, he was sweet and caring one minute and the next he was just a heartless player. I didn't understand, and worse yet, I couldn't help but feel as though I was just another pawn in his games.

"Rude or not," Blake said smoothly in a low tone, "I won."

I shook my head again; no, this couldn't be happening. I refused to believe it. After everything we had been through, he couldn't just say that and leave. I didn't want him to step out of the door with those being his last words; we were friends, Blake and I, he said it himself.

Or did he say that to every girl he played?

"Now if you don't mind," Blake said, looking pointedly at the door. I nodded mutely, my arms limp by my side as I moved aside, half hoping he would just stay and tell me it wasn't a game at all for him, that he really did like me.

Half hoping? I would practically willing to beg for him to say that.

My mouth opened to say something, but words didn't, couldn't come out of my mouth. I shook my head for the third time - surely this wasn't good for my neck - and looked past the doorframe. There were people camping out along the hallway, reminding me of the party that had happened last night, which really, just wasn't great, because not only had I not completed any of my homework, Blake had told me that it was all just a game and now I had to help Nina clean the whole place up.

Nina. Nina and her friends were the people Blake liked. Confident people. Not awkward blonde in the corner. People like Blake liked a chase, like something fun; and fun was just not in my vocabulary list. I hated myself for not being the person he liked, but then I hated myself for hating myself for wanting to change for a guy.

Without another word, Blake walked casually past me, his hands shoved in his pocket and his head hanging low.

It was adorable.

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