Why The Fuck?

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Why the fuck must I think of you?
That dumb ass smile.
Those fucking eyes.
That God damn body.
Why does your smell run through my nose when I think of you?
Why must I stay up in bed thinking of the moments when you were in my sheets.
Why am I over here checking your socials just to see what's new.
But what's worse is I check my own to see if you do the same for me.
You don't. I get that.
What I don't get is why I can't let you go.
Why must I hold on to the memories of the laughs we shared, the touching hands ever so lightly, & even the time we locked eyes & I almost told you that I love you.
I'm glad I didn't, because if I were to admit that I don't think I would get over this any easier.
But what if I did say it?
Would it have made you stayed longer...?

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