Agony

Chapter 19

I gave up calling Ming, I went to his apartment found it locked but instead of moving out I just sat there and texted Yo "Yo, tell your friend that I am outside his room, and unless he is here I am not going to move, even if it is for the whole night.". I was really lost not knowing what to do, Beam troubled me more than Ming, as I at least knew what to do with Ming. But Beam – I really had no clue.

It has always been the 3 of us in our gang and I never had any friends outside these two. I sighed, more than Pha who acted like the gang leader, Me and Beam have been pretty close – in everything. I was a bit conflicted and confused myself, whether I liked Beam – but I am clearer now than ever, I really am in love with Ming – I just have to make that fool understand it, But if I am honest I don't know still when I can take our relationship to next level... or how do I get past that.

I must have been lost in thought, as it took me sometime to realize that someone was watching me from the side, I turned and looked around – it was Ming. I couldn't help but smile at him despite my anger and fear. He slowly came towards the room and opened the door, and I followed him in. He didn't say a word but went straight to his bed and sat on it.

"Ming... what's wrong.. are you angry with me?" I asked as I stood before him, I just realized even when he was sitting and am standing the height difference between us was not very much and all I had to do was look down a bit to look at him face to face. It was very evident that Ming was hurt, he was confused and not sure of what to do, he has always been confident and to see him lose that confidence killed me. I hugged him, pulled him in close and patted his shoulder.

"I am sorry, for everything. You wouldn't be this hurt if not for me" I said feeling guilty and sad at the same time. He just hugged me back and slowly asked "are you choosing Beam?" I was taken aback for a minute, what is he saying "I tried to avoid you so that you can't breakup with me" he continued and hugged me tight "can you stay like this for that 10 mins before you say what you need to say?".. shit, is that what he is worried about? I thought he was angry... I looked at his face; he was a kid after all.

"Ming, I told you that my heart beats only for you, and I meant it. I will love you forever. Even if you breakup with me, I will be happy that I loved you and that you loved me. That's enough", I found myself gaining more confidence as I said it, it doesn't matter if he is a playboy or he breaks up in future, what matters is that I love him. Oh my god, why did it take so long for me to realize that, I have been really stupid.

"Do you mean it?" he asked now looking up with a small smile on his face, but he still look a bit worried "I know you and Beam have history, hell he might have been your first love for all that I know... and what will I do if you choose him over me?... I can see that Beam is obviously having or had feelings for you". I sat next to him, looked him in the eye "yes, all that you said is true, I am not sure about the first love though... but he is my best friend and nothing more". He cheered up a bit, I then leaned in and kissed him.

Neither of us had eaten, but we were too tired to eat so I decided to go back to my room, and Ming asked "can't you stay here with me... we can just sleep, nothing more I promise", I wanted to stay as well but was a bit hesitant to do so after all these serious talks, so I was glad Ming brought it up "Okay", I said.

Ming was lying flat on his back and his form stretched from one end of the cot to other, he had his eyes closed, I stood there admiring him for minute as I stepped out of the bathroom after I freshened up for bed "stop staring and come here, I know I am gorgeous" he said with a smirk. "As if" I said but did what he asked me too, dam I felt to small next to him – I think this might be an issue in future. I had left a huge space in between us and lied on the edge of the bed, but Ming just pulled me in closer.

I snuggled closer to him, my heart started beating fast – super fast, shit what the hell am I going to do I thought to myself, "What are you going to do" asked Ming suddenly , "Huh?" was all I could reply "About Beam" he said, "Can you tell me what happened ?". I paused for a minute "I really am not sure...." I told him everything until what happened today and how Bema left both me and Pha baffled earlier that day.

He just held me tighter, I hadn't realised that I was so close to him that my head only few inches away from his shoulder. I pulled his long arms over my head, and snuggled even closer resting my head on his chest, he turned a bit towards me and wrapped me with his other arm as if I belonged there. I was older than him, but now it felt like it was him comforting me – what a weird relationship I have I sighed internally, feeling happy and annoyed.

"It has to be hard for you, sorry I added to it" he said, I didn't expect him to be this matured after acting like a kid just couple of hours back, I sighed "I really am lost"... "It is like Yo falling in love with you, what will you do?" I asked. He thought for a minute "Yes.... that's hard – it might be one of the two either I accept him or lose my best friend" what non-sense is he saying now, I looked up "But I can't accept either of it" he continued, I breathed out.

"It is going to be tough Kitty" he said "But I amhappy that you are next to me now and don't worry we will figure out a way" hebent down a little and planted a kiss on my forehead. "I am tired, and am now contentto have you in my arms. I want to sleep – I haven't slept properly for coupleof days now... Good Night" he said "Good night" I replied back and sleptwithout any worries or tremors for now.