Over a year
Afraid to admit it
Too ashamed and embarrassed to confirm that I still love you
Scrolling through your pictures, the screen shots, our conversations, reliving the moment of a memory so distant it's becoming a fabrication ...my imagination
You're beginning to love me and I'm continuing to cry at night... again
This reality does not exist
A figment of my imagination.
The memory of us haunts me
Everyday I compare all these men to you . All insufficient so I stand alone
Afraid to "settle"
Afraid their love won't make me feel the way yours did
So in an effort not to feel alone I cling to every piece of you
The image of your tousled hair after the long drive
The smell of your cologne on your Grey vest... the scent unmistakable
Your dreams and aspirations
Fears, nightmares and insanity
Anticipation and excitement to see you ..
The feeling of you.. your lips against my skin, tender sweet and full of love
Your arms around my waist my legs wrapped around yours .. the bliss of belonging.
Love poured from your body, your every movement and word and imprinted itself upon my heart.
The nature of your love made it easy for me to love you.. and now the most difficult thing I continue to do.
I'm in the process of letting go and writing will be my catharsis until I do.
