I've forgotten what it feels like to be warm, the way the sun used to fall on my skin,
The way I held on to hope like it was my lifeline.
It kept my heart beating, at least.
Maybe I held on so tight, that it slipped right through my fingers
And left me cold,
Like my blood was frozen.
I have to keep my body moving faster than my brain
Because if I stop moving, I'll die.
I can't run for the sole purpose of knowing that people will clap for me;
My audience fell silent a long time ago.
They never knew my name in the first place,
Couldn't recognize my face.
I have to remind myself that I exist,
Remember that I have more substance that the air around me,
The same air that leaves me suffocating,
Choking on absolutely nothing.
Silent, but completely Immersed in noise,
I could never drown out the words
That drowned me.
I have to remind myself that I am tangible,
Because when I close my eyes, I feel like I'm floating in space;
I am nothing.
I can't feel anything.
I can't remember how to feel
And It's scares me
Because sometimes,
I don't want to remember.
For the first time I can breathe;
I can think straight.
It's funny what you can see from a planet away,
The way that everything becomes clear with distance.
I fell in love with the way the stars spoke to my soul, connected with someone so distant.
I fell in love with
The way the universe lets us in on its greatest secrets,
Like it knows we need something to believe in.
The way it made brave enough to come back,
Brave enough to feel.
And now
I feel the pulse in my wrist; all I can hear is the pounding in my chest.
The numbness turns to heat.
I haven't decided if I feel warmth,
Or If I'm burning in a blazing fire.
