Yixing threw his graduation cap into the air, signaling the end of his high school life. Everyone was celebrating; they couldn't wait for college and adult life. Yixing was no different. The island he had once loved so much was filled with painful memories; he could not wait to leave this place for good.
A drop of rain trickled down his forehead. It was raining again, the weather had been very abnormal. Normally at that time of the year, the sun would be out, doing its job of dehydrating everyone. But that year, it was raining every other day.
He searched the crowd for his parents. Bumping into classmates on the way, Yixing forced himself to smile and they exchange their congratulations. His mom waved to him as he spotted them and he hustled his way through the sea of people. Their proud and happy faces made Yixing feel ashamed his miserable self.
He still found himself searching for the presence of Him everywhere he went. Seventeen years and suddenly nothing. He was used to having Him by his side. But there was no way He would show up; the entire family moved away to the mainland as soon as they could.
"Oh, my boy is all grown up now," Yixing's mom hugged him tightly, "I'm going to miss you so much when you go off to college!"
"Mom, there's still a few months." He assured.
"Look at you! You look like an adult! You grew up so fast, it seemed like yesterday you just learned to walk!" His mother was getting emotional; Yixing comforted her like she had done to him when he was young.
Yixing strolled slowly by the shore. The noisiness of the celebration party faded behind as he walked further away. He was not in the mood to socialize with people, especially Kris, Luhan and Junmyeon. Everything on this island held a memory of Him.
It had been quite a while since Yixing had gone out of the house. He had no reason to. All he did the past month was study, study, and study. But finals were gone, so did his excuse for wanting to be alone; his mom forced him to go to this party. She had no way to keep him there, though; he snuck out as soon as he had the chance.
He wanted to swim to their islet, but what good would it do? He pulled back his foot that had already stepped into the water and carried on walking.
The heat from the afternoon still lingered on the stony platform; Yixing sat on the edge of the platform and felt the rough surface of the rocks. Only a few minutes away was His house, Yixing subconsciously look towards that direction. Should I? He debated if he could keep it together if he went there.
Screw it. Today is the last day. He staggered towards His house.
He stood under His window. All the lights were off, just as he thought, but still, he let out a relieved breath. He sat there with his back against the wall and looked to the sky. He suddenly felt so stupid; he had wrestled with the idea of going to the islet, but he still ended up finding himself outside His house. He scoffed at his lack of self-control.
Yixing picked up some small rocks by his feet and threw it at the wall in front of him. Why did I even come here? His heart throbbed at the familiarity of the place. This is a mistake. But he did nothing to leave.
He watched the sky turn to salmon pink, to magenta, to indigo blue. The noise in his heart was strangely fading away. It was one of His talents, always able to make him feel better, even though He was not here. Yixing wondered how he would survive college, alone; he was not good at making friends. It'll be difficult. He felt anxious about leaving tomorrow, but it had to happen sometime. It'll be a new start.
The noise from the beach also faded away. Mom would expect me to go home soon as well, he thought. He patted the dirt off his shorts and took one long look at the window. This is probably the last time I'll see this, he thought to himself. He walked away reluctantly from the house and onto the familiar path back home.
As he passed by the platform, he noticed a twinkle in the bushes. He looked closely for it to appear again.
There it is.
A firefly.
He chuckled bitterly. The boy who loved the fireflies was gone, along with his faith that they would give them a happy ending.
He walked on.
