Loquacious\\ Harry Potter Marauders

Thirty Four\\ Addicted

Adelaide thought things would be easier. Now that her and Sirius were speaking again, she thought it would be easier to be happy. She tried to focus on her studies, tried to be glad that no one bothered her anymore and that Sirius was no longer a source of stress. She tried to tell herself that their small hellos and hurried conversations were enough.

But she knew she was lying. Every time she saw him her heart leapt, she told herself today, today, today. Maybe today they would finally talk properly, and they'd get more than a hurried hello and a smile. But it never was. Adelaide's heart ached. It felt to her as if it had been aching for months now- first her mother, then her father and her Aunts, now Sirius. Regulus never spoke to her anyway, nor did Severus. Adelaide wasn't surprised and she didn't want them to, she wanted nothing to do with them. But still, she felt more lonely now than she had in a long time. She knew it was Sirius, it was all Sirius. She wanted him. After everything they had been through, all their fighting and making up, their secret relationship, the fight she had caused, finally they had made up, and the best decision was to just be friends? It didn't feel right. It may have been the right thing for them both but Adelaide hated it. She wanted Sirius. And she knew now, for definite, that that was all she wanted and she wanted it whole heartedly.

That was why the night of January the 23rd, 1978, went the way it did.

Adelaide was pacing the Slytherin common room. It was cold and dark and the fire was no more than dying embers. She wasn't sure what time it was. Somewhere in the room a clock was ticking loudly, it's sound giving her a headache. She was thinking about Sirius. They had had the most peculiar conversation earlier that day, far more odd than their usual hellos and goodbyes. Sirius had stopped in front of her, his hand behind his head, awkwardly scratching his neck.

"Er.. Adelaide, hi. How are you?"
"I'm fine Sirius how are you?"
"I'm great! Great. I eh..." He shot a furtive glance around at the students milling past them towards the Great Hall. "I was looking for James. We were planning on going... getting up to some mischief tonight. Maybe down near the dungeons."
Adelaide raised an eyebrow.
"You're an impressive show, Sirius. I'm sorry I haven't seen him."
"Yeah yeah that's fine. That's fine eh.. We'll be down there around two. Tonight." Adelaide frowned in confusion, a small smile twisting her lips.
"Okay," she said slowly. "I wish you luck."
"Thanks Adelaide," Sirius grinned suddenly. "We'll be down near the dungeons around two. Actually- James might not even come. You know how he is, sleeping and all. So I might go alone. But anyway, I'll go find him. Hope we don't wake you up!"
"Wha- Sirius!" Adelaide called as he ran away.
"I'll be there around two! Hope we don't wake you up, just cause-" he shoved a small second year out of the year. "You'll be so close to us and all!"

Then he disappeared into the throng of people. Adelaide hadn't seen him again for the rest of the day. Now, she paced about the common room, looking out into the gloom beyond the windows. Maybe, she thought, he hadn't just been talking nonsense to her. She checked the time on the old clock on the wall. It was nearly two o'clock. To be fair, she thought, letting her mind wander- the dungeons weren't that far from the common room. And Sirius had said he might be alone. Her eyes narrowed suddenly. Was this what he had been getting at the whole time? Rolling her eyes, she pulled her jumper tighter around her small frame and races for the door. Her heart was pounding as she flung it open, her face alight. She took one step outside the door and collided into someone.

"Shit," she swore as she clambered up from the floor. "Sirius?" She asked. Sirius said nothing. Then quite suddenly he leaned forward, grasping her waist.
"Adelaide," he said quickly, pressing his lips against hers. Adelaide froze. Her head was still pounding and she still wasn't standing up properly. Her leg ached from hitting the floor. But she concentrated on Sirius' warm hand around her waist, his soft lips pressed to her, his hand tangled in her hair, cupping her face gently. He was kissing her passionately, heatedly, as if he never wanted to stop. Adelaide melted into his grasp, sliding her foot behind her to close the door. She heard the thud as it shut. She pressed one hand to Sirius' strong chest and led the other to his face, feeling his jawbones in her palm. She was breathless.

"Sirius," she started, but he wasn't listening. He was kissing her still, lovingly and passionately, and Adelaide didn't bother to try and talk to him again, instead allowing herself to be swept away in the moment. This was all she has wanted for weeks now.

Finally Sirius stopped. He pulled away from her slowly but did not move, instead pressing his hands to either side of her face and touching their foreheads together. For a moment, there was silence, but for their heavy breath and racing heartbeats. Sirius took a deep breath.
"Adelaide," he whispered. She looked into his eyes. Her delicate hand closed around his arm.
"I can't do this anymore."
"What?" Her heart almost stopped. Seizing his arm, she froze. "What do you mean?"
"Not speaking. Not being together. It's driving me mad, Adelaide. We didn't deal with all the stuff that's happened between us just to end it the way we have."
"Sirius..." Adelaide whispered. Sirius placed a finger over her lips.
"Adelaide I know. I know what you're going to say. It's dangerous and what's the point because we tried before and ended up fighting but I don't care. Adelaide I don't care, I just want you. And not the way I have you now, I want you the way... James wanted Lily. The way he has Lily now!"
"But Sirius I-" Adelaide found her voice again, but she didn't know what to say. She knew this was what she wanted. This was all she had wanted for months now, and she finally had it. "You're right I was going to say all that. It's.. It's still true, Sirius, all of it. It is still dangerous, and.. And what will we do at the end of the year when-"
"Adelaide! Listen to yourself," Sirius whispered at her. "You're not sounding like you. I know you, Adelaide, this isn't you. You're not scared of things, you're never scared of things! Or if you are.. You do it anyway!"

Adelaide let out a small laugh.
"Come on Sirius, be realistic."
"I don't want to be realistic Adelaide. And I am being realistic! Why shouldn't we be together?"
"Because Sirius I... Aw I don't know!" She admitted finally, stamping her foot once. Sirius pulled away from her in the dark.
"See?" He said triumphantly. "Adelaide come on."
"You're begging me now Sirius."

Sirius collapsed to his knees suddenly and clasped his hands together dramatically.
"Adelaide Tanner," he began, his voice desperate. "Would you do me the immense honour of-"
"Shut up Sirius," she laughed. Sirius clambered to his feet and leaned on the wall beside her.

"Adelaide," he said seriously. The mood of the conversation changed once again. "You know how I feel about you. I know how you feel about me- no don't deny it," he said when she tried to argue. "I know you're worried and I know you're scared but... we'll both just be miserable if we don't do something. And we can't call it off Adelaide, not after everything we've been through. I've liked you for ages, you know I have, every since the start of this year I've cared about you. So yeah it's.. scary and it's stupid and it's a risk but," there was a pause.
"What is life without all that?"