Marching With the Dead (Daryl Dixon FanFiction)

•Chapter 6•

•Chapter 6•

I stared at the pistol in my hand. I turned the wooden hilt over and over still trying to end the debate in my head. All I needed was one bullet and I'd be out of this Hell.

I couldn't convince myself it was terrible idea. I didn't want to do it, but it seemed better that way. I finally grasped the pistol in my right hand correctly. The hammer was under my thumb so I pulled it back putting a bullet in place. It was time.

I slowly raised the barrel of the pistol to my temple. The cold metal reminded me of when Merle threatened me. You couldn't imagine the memories that were racing through my head. They all seemed to fly by so quickly and in seconds, my life story was over.

Tears started to from in my eyes. The sting in the back of my throat was screaming to be noticed. I was too coward to keep going even though I tell others to.

"So now you're gonna give up," I heard behind me. I turned around after I lowered the pistol some. Merle leaned against the doorframe that led to the roof. "What do you want?" I asked annoyed that he interrupted my alone time.

"This is my drinking spot," he said as he started walking closer to me. I hadn't noticed, but he had a bottle of clear liquid that looked like moonshine. "Leave me alone," I snarled.

Merle sat down next to me and set his drink in front of him. "Not 'till I finish this," he said as he lightly rose it in the air. I let out a grunt in the back of my throat as I placed the hammer back in its original position so it wouldn't fire by accident. Merle tipped the bottom of the bottle up and I watched his Adam's apple go up and down as he drank.

"How did you get that?" I smirked slightly pointing to his drink. "My brother's back 'cause uh you. That's somethin' worth drinking for. The sum' bitch is sleepin' when there's a perfectly good drink waitin' out here," he said after he took the bottle from his lips.

He dropped the glass and then held it out to me. I glanced at him confusion. Why was he offering me a drink after the incident earlier today? I thought about it, but concluded with 'Oh, what the hell'. I jerked the glass out his hand and kicked up the bottom. The alcohol burned my throat as it went down.

I gave Merle back his drink and stared ahead. We were silent as he finished up his bottle. "Why did you wanna do it?" Merle said breaking the quiet state. I was assuming he meant the suicide,"I guess there's nothing to live for anymore."

"No, I meant coming with us. What made you think we were decent?" he corrected my answer. I shrugged my shoulders."Believe it or not, I've been asking myself the same question," I sighed,"I guess I had nothing else to do. It was a more of 'this could be your only chance' moment."

He nodded his head. I could tell he was drunk. The moonshine was getting to his head making him act strangely. "Merle, are you alright?" I asked with a tiny smirk on his face. His head shot up to turn to me. His eyes were droopy and his words slurred,"Hmh? Oh, yeah. Just fine, sugar."

I rolled my eyes at his nickname and stared at the outline of trees ahead of me. "You know, I've been craving somethin' for a long time," Merle said with laughter in his voice. "And what is that?" I asked not looking at him.

I then felt a firm grip clasp on my chin and yank it in his direction. His murky blue eyes were wide open and bloodshot. His hand then brought my face closer to his making our lips smack into each other. My eyes were wide open in shock. I kept my lips pursed to make Merle want to stop, but he kept pushing.

His wet tongue then started to trace my lips, but I allowed no entry. I rammed my fist in his chest, but he was to concentrated in his forced kiss to notice. I leaned my head back to call out for help,"Merle, stop! Daryl! Daryl!"

"There's no need to bring my brother into this," he chuckled softly. Merle didn't stop his forcing and pulled me closer to him. His arms snaked around my back. His lips left my face and started to crawl up my neck. Tears were forming again when I felt his teeth start to clasp on to the side of my neck. "Daryl!" I called out weaker than before. I closed my eyes as I tried to thrash my way out of Merle's grip, but he was too strong.

His hands moved from my back to hold down my arms. He forced me to lay on my blanket for him to get on top.

"Merle!" a deep voice said angrily. He stopped with his drunken attempts and looked up at who was calling his name. My eyes flew open to see Daryl standing over us with his crossbow pointed to his brother's head. "Get off and get the hell out of here!" he commanded. Merle's face had a mixture of anger and shock. He slowly let go of his grasp on me and stood up.

Daryl led him to the doorway with his weapon still pointed at him. Once Merle was through the doorway, Daryl shut it in his face with his hand still on it after it was closed. He looked back at me to see that I was starting to pull myself together. I rubbed the alcohol saliva from my neck and face trying not think of what had just happened.

"You too," I sighed. "What?" he asked starting to come closer to me. These brothers have gone beyond the point of losing my trust. They shattered any chance they had to get it back. "I want to be left alone. Just go away," I said not looking at him.

"So you think this is all my fault? I didn't do this to you! I don't know who long its been since he's seen a woman so you think he's just gonna resist?" Daryl shouted at me switching his weapon to his right hand as he motioned to Merle behind the wall.

"He could at least know his limits! He needs to stop walking around like he's the shit because one day it's gonna get him killed!" I snapped.

"He's drunk! What do you expect? An asshole like him is gonna do some crazy shit when he's hammered," Daryl defended his brother.

"Just go away! Go sober up your brother before he gets us all killed!" I shouted wanting the last word. Daryl had nothing to say. I slowly turned away from him and stared at the trees ahead waiting for him to leave.

It was a few seconds before I heard his footsteps shuffle towards the exit. The hinges creaked as he opened the metal door and went through.

I needed to get out of here. I needed to get my head straight. I needed a lot of things, but it seems like I couldn't get them. They were all out of reach, yet I'm not trying hard enough.