California

Chapter 5

I shook my head and typed a reply.

I'm fine. We're all at my office trying to figure out how to help.-Charlie

I'll be there first thing. I want to help too.-Scott

Scott has a kind heart but he was always such a goof. He was rarely ever serious. That mission changed the both of us. Steve had good reason for being suspicious. We never told anyone outside of our command. It ruined a lot of my relationships. Especially the one with Steve. Things were so strained after I got back and the mission where I got shot made it worse. He swore up and down we had slept together and as bad as it sounds, I never bothered to correct him. We weren't supposed to talk about that mission, but even if we were... I didn't want to. I couldn't. Steve tried for months to make things better between us. He was willing to forgive me. I tried to be more present but I had nightmares all the time. They were always the same. Seeing Isa die and just standing frozen, unable to help. The next mission, my recklessness caused us to lose 4 good men, and injuring one of my best friends Sam Wilson. I got tired of losing people. I blamed myself for everything. I quit my job at the private security sector and started working under Bruce Banner at the CDC while I went to school. I ceased contact with Steve for a couple of years. Then I got my law degree, left the CDC, and started a practice. My guilt was still overbearing. I burned bridges when I left. Which is why calling Bruce and seeing Steve was hard to do.

"What are you doing up?" Bucky's voice shook me out of my thoughts.

"I couldn't sleep." I looked at the clock. 4:30 am. Bucky rubbed his eyes.

"Things seem pretty tense between you and Rogers."

"We haven't had the best relationship over the last few years."

He started the coffee pot and sat beside me. "What happened between you two? He doesn't really talk about it."

"If he doesn't want to talk about it, then maybe I shouldn't either."

"He's my best friend, Chuck. But he's hurting. Something is unresolved between you two and it's killing him."

I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face. "He thinks I slept with Scott."

"Did you?"

I simply shook my head.

"Then why does he think that?"

"Because I was different when I came back from Iraq with him and I wouldn't tell him why. He assumed and I didn't correct him."

"What the hell, Charlie. It didn't happen but you just let him torture himself with it?"

"I couldn't talk about it! It was classified."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "You guys told each other classified stuff all the time."

"But this was different. I couldn't talk about it. And I told him that. But he wouldn't accept it. He needed something concrete to hold on to and this is what came up. I know it's shitty but I didn't know what to do."

We sat in silence for a minute sipping the freshly brewed coffee.

"Scott is gonna be here in a couple of hours too."

I peeked over the coffee cup as I brought it to my lips. Bucky's mouth had dropped.

"Then you better tell Steve the truth. Or he's going to go off on him. Why is he coming here anyways?"

"He wants to help. He's outside of the Cordon and I told him we were trying to figure out some way to assist with all this and he said he was going to come."