Life: Complexity And Adversity

1981 November - Truth

"Huey, I need advice." I tell him. Huey looked at me. "Shoot." he said smiling. "If I tell Annalise how I feel I will destroy our friendship and make it awkward if she doesn't feel the same but if she does then it'll be fine and we can be happy. What should I do?" I tell him looking to my shoes for advice like they might just give me some. "Ever heard of Schrödinger's cat?" He asked looking to me. "Yea, I vaguely recall it, remind me." In truth I had only ever heard the name of the theory, I never really cared to look into the actual theory itself. "You haven't even heard the theory have you?" He read me like an open book. "Just get on with telling me." I ordered him like a general to a battalion. "Basically, in simplified terms, he put a cat in a box and said that if you don't open it is nor alive, nor is it dead. In other words you had to open the box to see the outcome." He stopped and looked at me. "So you're telling me I need to open the box by telling her how I feel, and I will see if the cat is alive or dead by her response, right?" I asked him in a somewhat proud tone. "Pretty much." He said unpleased by this deduction.

Huey Champagne; he, like me, was not your average American citizen. But he was a person. He was 5'9" and had black hair that in some places been dyed a neon blue shade. He was a smart character who disliked the establishment and was part of a antiestablishment subculture known as the "Anti-right" they were very left minded and even held "putsches" the word derived from the German word which meant coup in English. He was a nice enough young man who was twenty three, I had met him through Eve, the blind woman with green hair. I had since used him for advice because I saw him as wise and also a kindred spirit.

It's time to meet them. I was meeting Ross, Annalise, Arthur, Arabella, Beckie, Vera, Johnny and Gwen. All nine of us were going to meet at Cinema, first we would watch a movie, Halloween 2, the sequel to the first Michael Myers movie. Afterwards we would go get food McDonalds because, well, America. Lastly we would retreat back to mother base. Go home. Maybe we could all get along and have fun, but then again the probably wasn't going to happen, it was the nine of us, we were never going to be normal or act normal and get away with it, after all it was us.

The cinema: crowded yet empty, a hollow face that was full of hope. It is filled to the brim and we talk it over. "This place is full let's just go elsewhere." Ross said to us. "Nah let's wait" Arthur argued. "I think we should go" I joined in. We then debated for a good twenty six minutes and then walked outside of the cinema and then decided to retreat to "The Marsh." The Marsh is a small wooded area not to far away, well in my standards anyway. We walked for a while and finally got closer to the actual area, Ross and Arthur chatted and made small talk like an awkward and relatively new couple even though they had been together for over two years now, they had started dating in 1978 but at the very end of the year, in December.

He, Johnny, pulled out a syringe with a long sharp-tipped needle and a small bottle filled with substance with a yellow tint, like cooking oil yet it wasn't, "Want some?" He asked me. in the case that he had pulled the syringe, needle and small container from there was a collection of clean needles, small containers of the same liquid and a small booklet labelled "How to shoot up for dummies" this made me laugh to myself. I then thought to myself about his offer, I had never tried it and in all honesty didn't want to. "I'm fine." I replied. "You sure?" He asked. I contemplated, why was I thinking about this? "Just take the shit man." Gwen said, she was already higher than a kite from her dosage. I knew the drug was heroin mainly through the colour of the liquid and the immediate effects that Gwen was exhibiting. Her rush took about 10 seconds to hit her. I looked to the syringe, "Just one hit." I answer, I'll admit I am never good when people ask me to do something or tell me to do something, peer pressure always gets to me. I look to Johnny after he has shot up, hit his rush and then hands me the syringe, the heroin bottle, a clean needle and the kit plus his tie to act as a tourniquet, "Cuts off blood flow." I roll up my sleeve tying the tie tourniquet not too tight and not to loose. I put the hypodermic needle and syringe together then placing the hollow tip into the small bottle and pulling back the plunger and then watching the liquid be drawn from the bottle through the needle and into the syringe, I start pulling the needle that is attached to a syringe from the bottle the pointing the syringe upwards then flicking the needle tip and pushing the plunger slowly expelling the air bubbles and a small amount of heroine that squirted out. Then I place the hypodermic needle to the crook of my elbow and push it slowly into the surface of my skin, breaking the skin, slowly piercing the vein. I stop and think just for a second before pushing the plunger and retracting the needle along with the syringe, I wait a few seconds. Nothing happens. Three more seconds and there it is, "the rush." A smooth euphoria, a sense of safety and warmth. I felt happy and loose yet lucid and worried. I knew that this was gonna screw me over inside but the relaxation of the drugs was taking effect and it made me worry way less. My anxiety, stress and depression seemed to fade.