Effacing

Chapter 1 : The Explanation

I never really think too much about how my life was before. Before my effacing.

You know how when you wake up at a sleepover, you forget where you are? How you wake up in a foreign bed, oblivious to where you are only for a few seconds until you realize?
When I woke up in the hospital yesterday, I was trying to comprehend where I was, just like you would if you woke up in an alien place. However, as much as I tried to remember, I could not remember how I got there.

I could not even remember what I had for dinner the day before.

I could not even remember my name.
When I woke up, I saw a lady peering over at me from the corner of the room. When she noticed I was awake, she daintily strode in my direction.
"Crystal?" She said with an intrigued expression. She had her thick black hair tied back into a knot, under her nurse cap.

When she noted the muddled expression on my face, she looked relieved.

"Just relax," she told me when I almost went into hyperventilation. "Just relax and wait until I finish up with these tests"

I did what was told, not wanting to disobey the nurse when there was clearly something wrong with me.
She went to a screen next to the bed I was on and started pushing buttons.
"You're a surprisingly good listener, considering you have no idea what is going on," she said. "If I were in your position, I would be out of that bed, running."

I wasn't sure I could speak, but I tried it anyway. "Well, I'm not sure I would know where to run." It worked. I'm surprised my speech is possible.
The nurse just smiled and continued on the screen.

When she finished, she pulled up a chair from the corner and sat in front of me.

"I know you have a lot of questions," she said with another smile. "And I'm happy to answer them, after you answer mine."

Well that didn't seem very convenient, considering she wasn't the one without any clue of anything.

"First, I want to know if you are in pain," she said, looking at me through her curious brown eyes.

"Well, it hurts my brain trying to figure out why I am here," I said.

She squinted at me as if analyzing me. Then she said, "Okay. Now I want you to tell me your dad's name."

I shook my head, looking away.

"Okay that was all," she said, relieved. "Now your turn. Ask away."

So many questions, nowhere to start.
"Why am I here?" I whispered.

"Ahh. The obvious question," She said. "I am going to try to explain this to the best of my ability. It is hard, but I am going to start from the beginning. Ready?"

I nodded.

"Okay. A few years ago, our president hired a few neuroscientists and psychologists to find out how to get rid of mental disabilities. He believed these 'mentally disabled' people were the reason of low intelligence in our country. He believes they were unable to concentrate enough to be smart. His scientists found out something most intriguing. They found that all previous discoveries of mental illnesses in the brain were wrong, and that mental defects where formed and kept in the temporal lobe of the brain. Of course, there was a catch. The temporal lobe stores your memory, sense of hearing, and language. The only way to get rid of those defects was by removing the temporal lobe entirely. Your hearing and language wouldn't be entirely affected since your Parietal Lobe takes care of that, too. However, your memory would be affected. All the memories of experiences and loved ones would be erased. The president didn't care about taking people's memories. So, he ordered everyone with mental disabilities to go through a process called Effacing, which is the removal of the temporal lobe."

"Is that what happened to me?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied.

"Did the president give people a choice?" I asked, bewildered. How could someone be so cruel to where they took someone's memories without a choice?

"No," she said, her usually curious eyes looking down.

"What was my disability?" I asked.

"ADHD. That is the main one the president wanted to get rid of. He believed they were incapable of being smart, since they were incapable of paying attention."

"Well, couldn't I just have pretended I didn't have a disability and live in secret?" I asked.

She laughed. "No, I wish. This whole thing is unfair to me, too. But everyone must attend monthly checking appointments, so you can't just shy away from the laws. And if you don't attend your appointment, the Abettors- the president's helpers- have the right to break into your house and find you and give you consequences."
Silence then came upon us. There was nothing else to say.

"Well, after I run a few more tests, you are free to go home," she said. Home. This was a concept in which I hadn't thought of. Home, a place where I can feel safe with the people I love. But how can I feel safe if I don't know who to love? Who was my family?

When she saw my stumped expression, she said, "It's okay, Crystal. Your family is really nice. And don't worry, you will see me again, trust me. Just because you've gone through Effacing doesn't mean you are exempt from your monthly appointments."

"What? Why do I have to come back? It's not like I'm going to get ADHD again," I said.

"No, you most likely won't. But now, your appointments will be focused on your Effacing progress.

"And, hey, don't worry. Just go home and live your life and forget about all this," she added.

But how was I supposed to forget about today if it's the only thing I remember?