Finding my Wings

~10

        It was the first time Tristan had ever held me so close. His breath smelled of roses and his strong arms held me against his body. Through the thin fabric of my dress I could feel his heart beating. I wondered if it had been beating fast because the exertion or having me that close.

        He’d become mindful of how much space was between us since I'd told him my story. His actions were centered on being almost overtly friendly and gentle towards me. I worried if he would always be like that. Every day the desire to be nearer to him grew and grew. But then I would remember what exactly I was. What I’d done. And I felt like I was being so incredibly foolish for believing for even an instant I could ever good enough for someone like Tristan. Even his kind heart would never be able to accept the kind of person I’d became in those long months with Uncle.

        Tristan would see my expression sometimes and he’d get a pained look when he asked, “What’s so wrong that your ruining your pretty face with such a frown?”

          I just shook my head and gave him as kind a fake smile could be, “It’s nothing. You don’t have to worry.”

        “But I will worry. And I always worry if your truly happy being here with me. I don’t want to see you sad for even an instant.”

        I just smiled and shook my head, “I could never be happier than I am being here in this fairytale with you. I hope it will never end.” I knew there was doubt in my heart that it would, but I was at least the most rational between the two of us.

        “Me neither.” He agreed. He read me more poetry that night. The space between us had gradually became less and less. Those late nights when I could feel the heat of his skin on mine through the soft sheets of the bed were some of the sweetest. I wandered what he could be thinking every night when he went to bed. And I imagined floating above myself and yearning to leave this beautiful room that only seemed like a cage whenever he wasn't there. Despite the knowledge that my dirty body could taint his pure soul, I dreamed I had met him before my parents accident. I touched his face without thinking I repulsed him, or would lay a gentle kiss on his soft lips without remembering what my lips had done for those greasy scumbags on the streets.

        I hated my Uncle more and more each night. If he had never done this to me, I would’ve been a girl worthy of Tristan’s love and affection.

        A month after I’d decided to stay, I began thinking of how to leave this world of a fairy tale that was never really mine in the first place.

(sorry these last two chapters have been so short, more to come soon ^^)