Dead || h.s

five

Sonaclair

I needed that. I really did. Some would think, "why would you hurt yourself more when you're already in pain?". I don't think about it hurting so much, I kind of just think of it as a way of getting rid of what's hurting. I don't even know what's hurting. Everything. Nothing? I don't get myself but I just cut anyways because it's like therapy for my head. Everything immediately goes calm and I get a little light headed which causes my vision to blur but I feels better to me. 

(a:n - I am not suggesting cutting guys. Please don't do it to yourself, Rose is messed up and is fictional so don't listen to her)

I told Harry the rumors would spread like wild fire. Everyone is looking at me funnier than usual and I'm really not in the mood for judgment. All the freshman are looking at me with those "fangirl" eyes. They look crazy in love while thinking they are watching Harry and I fall in love. Some though, they look quite infuriated at the fact that precious Harry "Golden Boy" Styles is off the market. Those are the looks that are annoying the crap out of me. It's hard to get the glares out of your mind. I don't care about the fan girls except for the fact that I'm starting to think they look up to me. I'm not a model senior okay. I don't have a fourth of my shit together. Right now, everyone is preparing for college while I can't think beyond high school.

Lunch was over the second it started for me, but I have no idea where Styles could've ran off to...

I'll pay him back later, but for some reason, I feel like he's saving my ass right now.

The school day goes by quicker than the pace it started at. Everyone still doesn't know how to fucking whisper so I can here everything they're saying. They can say things about me, just don't talk about me like you know me. They know my name, not my story. If everyone did, I'd get those disgusting pitiful eyes that make me want to cut their eyes out of their sockets. 

As usual, I go into the library to read or write or watch Netflix. As I told you, our Librarian, Mrs. Farenbocker, loves me. 

I am about to dive into another episode of The Office when a random kid shakes me violently. 

"Uh hm, Ms. Rosalie, your highness, I feel like you must see this fight going on outside" The kid barely spits out. He's a freshman and I don't know if he's shaking from my presence or what's going on. 

"Thanks for telling me....?"

"Tyler. My name is Tyler Wilson. I'm on the football team. I like --"

"Okay dude I asked for your name, not your life story" I smile at him. This guy cracks me up. He just looks awkward. But never underestimate puberty, Tyler can turn into one of those "hot jocks".

"Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me and spare my soul" he cries out. We are in the empty foyer that echos what he just said. Last time I checked, I don't know how to take a soul.

"What the hell are you talking about. Explain while you take me to where this 'interesting fight' is" I say before going into my normal stride. Even at three years older than him, he is still taller than me. Blame genetics for my short genes my parents passed on to me. 

"Okay well everyone in out grade says not to stare into your eyes or get you angry because you will take our soul or something. Or cut our eyes our or kill us in our sleep" He scaredly explained. 

I assumed the fight was in the front of the school by the direction we were going. 

"So people are basically saying I'm a demon?" 

"Yeah. I guess" 

"Do you believe what they say" I ask

He hesitates slightly. "No". Well that was unexpected. The way he avoids eye contact or how he looks like I'll kill him sure shows other wise. Body language is so easy to read.