Dead || h.s

six

Sonaclair
A couple days later
I get what people mean when a guy can ruin your life. I never thought I'd turn in to one of those girls where a person turns into your lifeline and you literally can't survive without them. But feelings are strong, and I know I can't stop this.
School is already boring with all the projects they through into your face in the beginning of the year. I almost forgot about this.
"The Fault in Our Stars. By John Green"
I wonder how this will turn out. From what I can tell, I know this will probably be the kinds of books people cry over, with the cancer and all.
It's weird to say this, but I think Harry Styles has gotten underneath my skin, he's here and it's not leaving my thoughts. His happiness radiates off his body at such an alarming rate that I think it's effected me. He's definitely changed me in the couple of days we've known each other. I don't think about my past as much. Now all I can see is the future, with him in it.

My Saturdays are boring, they usually consist of books, writing, Netflix, and food. My mom doesn't bother me, as she knows weekends are kind of a me time. I've never complained about school, but AP classes can be stressful at times. It's good to not do anything when you're doing everything.

Today is a weird Saturday. I have a feeling to go and do something. I shower, brush my hair, and get dressed in my usual attire, which is almost some t-shirt and cardigan or a sweater with jeans and sneakers. Sometimes I'll put on beanies but it's still too hot.
"I'll see you later mom, I'm going out" I say. I don't specify where because I myself don't know where I'm going.
"It's Saturday though. Are you going out with anyone?"
"No, just me, as always"
"Alright, have fun, be back by 8 and text me where you are" she smiles.
I locked the door. It's only 12, so I have a lot of time to kill.

The first stop is Starbucks. Yes, the typical white girl hotspot. My feet are fucking killing me, as I turtle-walked the whole 5 blocks it took me to get here. I only come here for their kids apple juice and free wifi so don't jump to conclusions. I just realize how different I can be from myself. Some of my interest and personality don't go together at all. I guess that's how they know I have multipile --
"Hello Rose. I didn't think I'd see you here" I turn at the familiar voice.
"Why not Nathaniel? Am I not the sterotypical white girl?"
He smiles instantly at my playfulness. I don't think his crush has faded over the years...awkard considering I haven't felt that way towards anyone in my life. No one has seem to catch my attention in my 17 years of living.
"Lets do something together Rosalie. I haven't seen you smile since before Kenize left"
Way to dampen the mood. He could've said anything else in the world, but he choses to remind me that our best friend is missing.
"Yeah. Whatever" It wouldn't hurt to spend time with the guy I assume.

He led the way to a near by bowling alley. Did I mention hate bowling? Oh, well I do. You probably figured out that I hate alot of things by now.
"Now I know you don't like bowling, but --"
"Then why the fuck did you bring me here?" I ask rudely.
"We need to spend time together like old times Rosie"
If only he knew the pain that name caused me.
Going off on someone is the last thing I want to do right now. I need to find self control this time.

***

"Rose...ROSE?", I hear Nathaniel shout into my ear. He was asking what size shoe I needed, but I couldn't see because of my blurry vision. I need to get it together, I really don't need everyone to know how emotional I can get.

"Size 7 is fine" I smiled. I need to get rid of the thought of my father before I go insane.

We bowled 1 game, before I called it quits. I was scrolling on Tumblr showing Nathaniel things and eating french fries. I know I'm a freaking nerd. Who the hell shows their Tumblr dash to people? Seriously praying to all the gods up in the sky that no porn blogs pop up...