Forgotten Souls

Chapter 9: Shocked And Dumbfounded

The next few days went by blissfully. We had no problems whatsoever with seeing each other all the time and it felt great. It was Wednesday today. We had just come home from mid week Bible study. Zaylee was extremely quiet tonight and it bugged me. I wanted to know what it was that was on her mind. She seemed to be really distracted too. She still answered me when I asked her questions or spoke to her about things, but she didn’t quite seem present.

When we got to the apartment, she jumped out of the car before it was even switched off properly. Was it just me or was she trying to get away from me? The thought made my heart ache. Why would she not want to be around me? Did I do something to upset her?

We silently entered the apartment and she immediately disappeared into her room. I decided that maybe it would be best not to bug her. If she wanted to talk about what was wrong then she would come to me.. right? After about an hour and a half I started getting doubtful that she would want to talk to me out of her own. I stood up and walked over to her room, but as I was about to knock, she opened the door.

She looked startled at first, but then she recollected herself and spoke up. “Bray, I need to talk to you about something. I’ve been going crazy trying to think of how I want to say what I have to, I still don’t know how exactly, but I know you need to know what’s going on. My silence is unfair towards you.”

Please don’t break up with me. I thought to myself. I’ve been trying to be the perfect guy for her. Surely she wouldn’t leave me after only 3 days of being my girlfriend. “I.. uh.. please don’t tell me you’re breaking up with me Zaylee. I know I have been busy these past three days that we’ve been dating, but I promise it won’t always be like this. Please.”

She immediately reached out for my hand and quickly stuttered. “What? N.. no Bray I don’t want to break up with you! I lo.. I am happy with you and I know you’ve been busy, I’m the one arranging your schedule. It’s.. it’s something else.” I breathed a sigh of relief. For a moment it sounded like she wanted to tell me that she loved me, but that couldn’t be right? It’s too soon for that. I have to admit though, those words have been hanging on the tip of my tongue for a while now too, I just.. don’t think she feels like that yet.

“Then what’s wrong baby girl, please talk to me. I am dying over here. Did I do something wrong?” Maybe it was because we haven’t kissed yet. Maybe she doubted in my attraction towards her.

“Bray.. we are a couple now. I’m your girlfriend and as much as I love being around you all the time.. I think it’s time for me to find my own apartment.”

“Wha- why?”

“Because Bray, we can’t stay together before marriage. I have extreme self-control and I know that I won’t step over the line with you until we.. you know.. get married.. I just.. I’m attracted to you and I don’t want to put myself in a situation where I could be tempted and I definitely don’t want to put myself in a situation where people can start having doubts about us.. you know.. not doing anything..”

What she was saying made perfect sense and I hated it. I hated it because even though it made sense, I still wanted to be selfish and demand that she remain in her room and not move out. I couldn’t do that however, because I knew that having her as my girl in this place is already enough a temptation. I already felt like two separate rooms were a waste of space when we could share one and I knew that it was wrong of me to even consider doing that.

“I guess I understand where you’re coming from baby girl. I know what you mean about temptation and I agree that staying together may not be the best option for us. When do you.. When do you want to move out though? I’ll pay for everything baby, I just want you to be comfortable.”

She took my hand and walked me over to her desk in her room. Her laptop was open to some apartments that she was looking at. They seemed to be decent and safe. “I was thinking maybe this weekend Bray.. the sooner the better, Not that I want to be away from you. I just.. you get it right?”

“I do Zay, I understand. Don’t worry about it. We can get your place and pay it on Friday and then on Saturday, we can go buy you some furniture.”

“You don’t.. you don’t have to do that Bray! I mean, I’ve been saving up since I started living here so I can buy the necessities myself.”

“I don’t doubt that you can baby, I just want to do it for you because you’re my girl. I want to look after you. Please let me do this for you?”

She contemplated a bit and then finally replied, “Fine, you win! You and your sneaky business skills. How am I ever going to be able to get you to compromise or negotiate with me when you’re such a great business man?”

I suddenly barked out a laughter. I couldn’t help it. She was being too adorable for words. She joined in with the laughing and soon we were both clutching our stomachs to stop laughing. “Baby, I didn’t get to build an empire from being a bad business man. It’s what I am good at, but I promise you that I was not going all business on you. I asked you sincerely.”

She smiled gently and touched my cheek. She was about to say something, but suddenly the air around us changed. What was once comfortable, was now intense. I knew only one thing. I really wanted to kiss my girl. She seemed like she was thinking the exact same thing by the way she looked at me through her long lashes.

I leaned in slowly, trying not to scare her away but I soon came to realize that she too was leaning in for a kiss. The minute our lips brushed, I felt my entire world start to spin. Her kiss was delicate and sweet and soft , just like her and I couldn’t for the life of me stop myself from deepening the kiss.

She slowly leaned back, pushing me away slightly. Only then did I realize that things were going to far according to her so I stopped immediately. I definitely did not want to chase my girl away or make her feel pressured to give more than she are comfortable with giving. She still went through something incredibly dramatic and painful. I didn’t want to cause her any more pain. The rest of the evening was spent watching movies, playing board games and her singing her heart out to some of her favourite songs on her cell phone.

She looked so carefree. In that moment I realized that I couldn’t hide my feelings anymore. I loved this girl with every breath I was taking. There  was no denying it any longer. The only thing I wanted, was to make her smile for the rest of her life. I never wanted to hurt her. My heart started beating when I came to a sudden realization. I plan on getting married to this girl. There was no way that I would let this sweetheart out of my arms.

I wanted her to be my wife some day. It was with that thought that I eventually fell asleep that night. I dreamt of her again, but this time, I dreamt of her standing on the beach in a white dress with a bouquet of white roses along with lilies. She looked like a princess from a fairy tale. She was my fairy tale.