A Penny For My Thoughts ~ phan

X

Dan

The walk, or perhaps I should say float, to the planetarium is an unforgiving one. If I was still alive I'm positive I would've gotten blisters by now. Although I have come across a four-leaf clover, so that's gotta mean something.

Thankfully, most of the landmarks I've had memorized for quite some time have past me by, the goodwill that is still adorned with animal paintings from when it was a pet store years ago, the apartment complex that looks more like a mansion from the 19th century than anything else, the busy park fit for a king with swings that transcend the clouds. I suppose I really haven't been dead for a while. However much time it's been, all that matters at the moment is that I don't have long now before possibly locating my corpse.

Just to mock me, the cars following their own paths on the road beside me go faster than necessary. Or maybe it's just been that long since I've taken a scenic walk such as this. Either way, they don't stop coming and every now and again the same thought invades my brain. 'Can they still see me?' Until I not-so-subtlety dip my head downwards and a split second view of my black shoes leaves me with more questions than answers.

Humans are never satisfied with untold details, bits and bobs that they yearn to hear no matter how irrelevant they may be. It's too bad this particular trait remains with me as a ghost. Dejectedly I know, some things aren't meant to be revealed. But that's okay because eventually I will finish this godforsaken trek and discover who took my life. And even if I don't I can trust that it ends up that way for a reason, that something comes out of these paranormal days of mine.

After a good twenty more minutes, at least from what my exhausted brain can estimate, I'm now finally arriving at the tall brick building. The matching dirty brown grass doesn't make a sound as my impatience prompts my feet to move straight ahead, ignoring the cement paths on either side. There was no trouble getting into this place as most of the people here recognize me. I came here a lot as a living human, it being one of the only sanctuaries of peace where I could give in to my passion. Along with my home away from home, Liston college, no extravagant tourist destination could ever make me happier. That clover from earlier must've had something to do with my easy access as well.

Checking for any lingering spies, I slip through the great big double doors as if they're nothing at all. It almost feels like a sacrilege, skipping the first step of a complete loss of energy when shoving open the doors was inevitably the most exercise I got all day, only to gain it all back with content in the shape of pixelated stars. In my state, energy is nothing but a faint memory but that doesn't stop the immediate chill I remember all too well.

Entering the planetarium is like looking up from a long day's work only to see the first snowfall peppering the world through the window. It's like an assertive wind whipping along your open toes and bare skin after spending all day at the beach. It's what I picture waking up next to your soulmate feels like, the realization dawning on you with the sun slowly filling up their face that you have everything you could ever ask for.

It's a simple building composed of a screen, some chairs and a podium, really. So why do I love it so much? It's pretty silly, I think. But perhaps I'm not the only one who gets this way with simple things. In fact, I'm definitely not the only one. Awe is inspired by every little thing this world has to offer, some even as small as insects or as large as the universe. And that's certainly something to celebrate.

Glee is the best word I can think of at the moment to give light to my current feelings. Before I can focus on them too much, I blindly set myself down in one of the seats, my eyes captivated by the scene above me so much so that I barely register my lower half falling through.

There's Gemini up there, my zodiac sign, with their two little heads, castor and pollux. Then there's the slope of Aries and the sharp edges of Leo, some of the more compatible signs with mine. And naturally there are the signs I don't get along so well with, Virgo here and Pisces there. Also, let's see, there's Orion and his belt obviously, the big dipper, the little dipper. Ursa Major is over there alongside-

Wow, how did the seat get so high up? Oh, yeah. I'm a ghost, therefore, I need to use ten times more energy to keep myself from constantly passing through everything, including these cushy chairs. How convenient.

Though not an easy task, I manage to keep my gaze fixated on the floor around me as I stand. Now, if I was a dead body where would I be? Come to think of it, how would I even have died in here?

Did I get locked in a back room with nothing but inaudible screams in my toolkit before dying of dehydration? Was I feeling particularly reckless and stupid that day causing me to be convinced that I just had to figure out the electrical components of the artificial sky? No, neither of those makes sense but the alternative is an idea I wish to keep far under the rug. Because I so hope no one hates me enough to kill me, to let me go just like that. Murder is for perfectly typed newspaper headlines and words that stream monotonously out of the mouths of tired news anchors. It's something 2D that you don't remember exists until you do and it can't have happened to me. It just can't have.

So I have no trouble in saying that satisfaction is my first response upon nothing to be found. My second response: complete and utter exasperation. Besides a few pieces of litter that I roughly attempt to snatch up, my annoyance only growing larger with the uselessness of my gaseous hand, nothing unusual is going to be making an appearance today. It's getting ever more dark outside and I'm getting ever more frustrated. Maybe I oughta call it a day.