Scattered Thoughts

Hope

I sit at the edge ..........knowing...... that maybe .....it's the end ......bracing myself ..........I can do this ........maybe it will end all that pain........ suffering ......I close my eyes..... and gently ease one leg .........into the water........ the hot water is a scalding reminder........... of all the things ............I burned ........all the memories ........I put the other leg in  ...........I can feel ........no bottom underneath......... no ending .........no depth ............it's just dark nothingness .......... emptiness...........I open my eyes and............... look down.......... into the murky depths ..........I can do this.......... the water hums gently in agreement .............coaxing me.... to let go ...............yes ........I can do this........ this is the end............ the end........ the water echoes .........into it's folds..... come with us ...........it beckons ..........and ................all will be fine ..............I ease further into the water ...........till my neck ...........but my hands somehow betray my body ............and still cling to the edge of life......... no!!.......... they seem to shout ............but the water pulls my down .............with it's soft fingers .........slowly tenderly........ as I move my legs......... it splashes upwards and strokes my fingers ...............and ............ I finally let go ..........then water surrounds me ...........caressing me...... folding me into it's depths .........my vision blurs ..........as I keep doing down ............. dissolving.........I start to lose my senses ...............as water fills their place.............my lungs burn......... they scream....... they ravage......... yet the pain... somehow .......seems mild......compared to all ..........that I suffered ......... Suddenly I feel a jolt........... as I see........... something........... in front of me............ it's so bright.............. I can't bear it .............why is it so bright ..........what is it .......I can't make it out properly ...............it's just so bright....... so beautiful......... I must touch it........ I must .........I must hold it ...........I can't bear this........... it's too tempting ..........I reach out my hand...... to touch it ....but it's out of my reach........... I try to reach out .........to go towards it............ my body going on it's own accord........ but it's still out of reach ................I must go to it ......I think... and frantically start swimming upwards....... and before I know it .......I break the waters surface....... but  I'm still going up ..............until I'm hovering above the surface...... i look down to see what it was that made me .......come out.. and when I see what it is............. I smile .........ah!....... I see...
it's the same thing that didn't leave the Pandora's box....... when all others did........ I see cupped between my hands..... all over myself........ and all around myself.......... hope.......... the one thing ............that keeps us all going..........