Unclassified

Diary entry 1: Weeks passed

Dear Diary,

Well this year I decided to keep a diary , well an electrical atleast. Anyway even though it's been about a few weeks of school drama has already started.

Let's start with Camilla Winter:

Well I actually been starting to open up with the Brett thing since understands more than any one about these things

One our texting conversation went like this ( C is Camilla and A is me)

C: you deserve a guy that appreciates all of you

A: I need to know if he hates me and why

C: Okay I'll try Tomorrow like I said

C: For you

A: aww I luv you

The next day I stayed home incase he said he did say he did. I knew if he said he did like last year ( well according to kassy fin) I would have completely ditched classes and cried in the girls bathroom. But as soon as school ended I texted her.

A:Heyy

C:Holaa

A: What I missed at school?

C: Brett says he doesn't hate you

A: What exactly did you say

C: I asked him what class he was in last year

C: Then he was C-68

A: And?

C: and I was like uh wasn't that Avery's class

C: he's like yea she used to like me

A: oh ok so he thinks I don't

C: I was like do you hate her

C: he's like I don't hate her

C: he was like you drew a picture him

C: and I was like no her friends did that

C: He was like no I watched her draw it

C: then I introduced myself to him

C: :D

That's when we stopped talking about him and moved on talking about other things. Few days later after I had that conversation Camilla asked Brett if me and him can be friends and he said No. Honestly I was confused. You don't hate me but you won't even try to get to know me and forget everything that happened. The picture thing was kind of a lie though I didn't draw it at school for one. I drew at home and left it in my folder so my mom wouldn't see it. Anyways it fell out my folder in math because I'm such a freaking klutz. People saw it already in math but Brett didn't. Felicia Haze , a girl that was in my class last year, took it out my folder and showed it to him. (Brett really has to stop fucking twisting the story) .

But moving from last year, this year apparently I have "competition" . Katrina Harrison likes Brett. Last year I was the only one and I liked it that way. Ugh and everyone keeps talking about it and it drives me insane. I literally try my best not to lose my temper and keep my feeling locked. Hearing about it kills me inside. They see me standing there and all I hear is " Brina" , "Krett" , " K . K" , "Katrina Knight". No just no. People only ship them cause their both blonde and ' of the same race' ( that may sound racist but that people say all the time... I'm just quoting them) . Honestly true love has no color. Your suppose to like a person for who they are. I like Brett because he's funny, just being in the same room as him alone can make me smile. Last year when he talked in class I swear that was like the only times I listened. He was actually very interesting and I like hearing his jokes, stories and comments. Honestly I'm kinda shy around new people and the way he was so outgoing made me like him ( his looks were just a bonus). I wondered why all of sudden she likes, was it for the right reasons or the wrong ones... I don't even know but all I do know is I should of known she did. One day in math class Haley and I were talking about last year and Haley happen to mention my crush on Brett. Katrina then ask "you like Brett?" . Well of course I denied it and said no but Haley said yes and that I really need to stop lying to myself. (sometimes she's too brutally honest but it's better getting lied to). Maybe if I said yes and that I still do maybe she would backed off. Katrina seems nice. Ugh no wonder people say that her and Brett would be good together. She's nice, she's a fast runner, she's a great artist, she's smart and her hand writing is really neat.

Ugh all of this is killing me. My self esteem has been at it's all time low. Literally I cry at night. It's not just because Brett says we can't be friends or Katrina liking him, it's also because I kinda feel like I'm losing my friends. Cam mostly talk about her new friend Alexis and about Julian Spikes. Ariel seems to care about her new crew aka Morgan Palmer,Sarah Sterling, Katie Braxton, Nicole Benjamin,Sheri Ross ,Sherri Chase,Sherrie Reed and Valiera Nathan. Also her guy best friends Jason Acce and Brett. Plus Piper and Mercy have became great friends not like that's bad it's just sometimes I just feel left out. Ugh I know I sound stupid, jealous and like an attention-seeker but I just don't like losing people I care about. I'm not trying to be which is why I don't tell them how I actually feel.

In reality keeping all these emotions inside is making it worse. I just got sadder and sadder, faking my smile everyday. Pushing me to a point where I cutted my self. I never thought I would. I always read teen-fictions either about like nerds, emos or loners or even regular people who are just bullied . I'm none of those really. I'm not a nerd, I'm not a slacker, I'm not popular, I'm not a geek , I'm not a gamer , I'm not an athlete, I'm not a loner, I'm not ghetto, I'm not girly, I'm not goth, I'm not emo, I'm not a prep. I don't have a type so basically I don't have a group. Honestly I just hang with anyone who is nice enough to talk to me.

I'm unclassified.

I don't really know what that is or haven't figured it out

But I guess that who I am

Unclassified

I'm going to give it a definition , give myself a definition if it's the last thing I do