Drowning in Silence

• Chapter 1 •

Like every summer, Lottie doesn't hang with her friends at the beach. She doesn't invite them over for sleepovers. She doesn't go shopping and have a good time with them... Because she doesn't have them. She sits in the library alone. Day after day she scans the bookshelves for hours on end, wondering why she couldn't just be a normal teenage girl. The library was in the same building as the shopping centre so sometimes if she was passing to get a new book she would look out of the window and catch a glimpse of what life would be like if she wasn't such a misfit.

Day after day, week after week spent in the same library. Not that she was complaining. She loved the library, it was her safeplace, somewhere where she could live without feeling judged or humiliated, a place where she belonged.

The library was open Monday-Saturday 9am - 6pm. She would often go straight there at 9am on a Saturday and stay until the library closed. She couldn't get enough of the quiet environment and often wouldn't want to leave. On school days, she would leave the school straight away at 3pm and run to the library so she could spend as long there as possible.

Today was Saturday so she made the most of the day by going straight to the library. She brought her book and her homework to do. She had her own room with a desk at home but she could never concentrate on her homework with all the distractions around her. To produce homework of good quality she needed to be in the right mindset; and that was the same for reading and studying.

She made it to the library at 8:58. The doors opened and she walked inside, she was then greeted by the cheerful librarian. Her name was Maria and she had the same kind of passion for reading as Lottie, that's why she got the job here. She was nice and all, but you can't really class a 28year old woman that you only see at the library as your "best friend".

Lottie smiled at Maria as she walked past reception and sat in her usual spot in the far corner of the library. She set down her book and placed her bag beneath the desk. She had some homework and studying to do but she wanted to get through a few chapters first.

She turned to her current page, placed her bookmark beside her book on the desk and started to read. She loved books because they could take her away to the most wonderful places, where there's adventure and mystery and romance... And happy endings.

She checked the time on her phone and in her bubble of imagination she hadn't realised it was already 11:30am. She placed her bookmark on her page and closed the book. She then carried her backpack over to the computer and typed her username and password. She finished some homework tasks and emailed them to her teachers, before leaving the computer and going back to reading.

Currently she was reading the book "This Song Will Save Your Life" by Leila Sales because she felt like she could really relate to the main character, Elise, in so many ways. She, too, was a misfit. She loved music. She had no friends who truly supported her. Until one day, she finds this hidden nightclub where she meets some friends and finds a DJ who teaches her how to work the turntables and she gains her love of music and DJing.

This all sounded so amazing to Lottie because she felt like the longer she spent with her head in these books, the more chance she had of these fantasies coming true. She knew they wouldn't, but they helped her remain sane, so she kept her fingers crossed.

It was nearing 1pm so Lottie packed up her stuff, left the library, and went to have a look around for something to eat. She found a little bakery and ordered a sausage roll and a glazed doughnut. She sat down on a rickety wooden chair and table and ate. She kept her head in her book the whole time while eating, she couldn't put it down.

Once she finished, she went to take her tray over to the counter when she caught glimpse of a boy who she was sure was looking at her. He had silky black hair falling over half of his face in a fringe, and the brightest blue eyes she'd ever seen. She looks at him once she's placed the tray down. They stared into eachothers eyes for a moment before he realised and smiled at the ground. Lottie had a confused look in her eyes as she left the store, returning to the library. She couldn't stop thinking about him, was he looking at her because he wanted to talk to her? No, he was probably just bored waiting in the queue and thought she was odd so he stared at her, and then laughed at her. That's what everyone does.

When she arrived the library she opened her bag to get her book out... It wasn't there. She realised that she must've left her book in the bakery. Crap. She sighed heavily before leaving the library again and returning to the bakery.

She walks through the glass doors and is greeted by the soft pastry smell. She reaches the table she was sat at and the book was nowhere to be seen. She couldn't lose it, for it wasn't hers to lose. She asked behind the counter if someone had handed it in but they said they didn't know about any books being left.

She started to panic as she checked under the table, on nearby table and chairs.... She even walked from the bakery to the library slowly, scanning the floor incase she had dropped it. Nope.

"Would I have to pay for the book because I'd lost it. I don't have a lot of money... I might just have to use tomorrow's dinner money and go hungry."

All these thoughts whizing through her head she leaned on the doorframe of the library, dizzy and feeling sick.

Then she remembered she still had two weeks until the book needed to be returned so she had time to either find the book, or build up the money to pay for it. Obviously however, if she couldn't find it she would have to own up, and that thought made her sick to the stomach, but she won't have to worry about that until after 2 weeks.

She walked into the library where Maria smiled at her again. Lottie didn't feel like smiling. Instead she just scuffed the front of her shoes on  the roughly carpeted floor and sighed.

She walked to the far end of the library where she usually sat and placed her bag under the desk. She then scanned the shelves of old dusty books until she came across a book that she was sure she'd never seen before. Actually, a collection of books she'd never seen before.

Until today, 90% of all the books in the library weren't from Lottie's era. Most of them were from the 19th century, now the library had some books that Lottie thought looked amazing.

She looked excitedly at the spines of these new books. 'Forgotten' by Cat Patrick, 'All the Bright Places' by Jennifer Niven, 'Paper Towns' and 'Fault In Our Stars' by John Green. Until she found a book called 'Am I Normal Yet?' by Holly Bourne.

She carefully pulled the book out from the shelf and read the blurb and the first page an she was hooked. She took the book to the librarian so she could borrow it, and excitedly ran back to her seat so she could start reading.

All the worries about the missing book began to fade away, she had this new book to keep her sane.

And anyway it's part of a series of books, she's gonna get lost in it! :)

_________________

A/N: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter if this story. If you did please vote and comment your thoughts it means the world to me. If you want some updates soon just message me on my first account (the account I'm most active on) My_Chemical_Phangirl and shout at me to update until I do :) xx

All the books mentioned in this chapter are books I own. I'm currently reading "This Song Will Save Your Life" and it's amazing, but I have all the other books mentioned and I will be reading them as soon as I finish the book I'm currently reading.

Have a wonderful day, lot of love,
Kaitlyn xx ❤️

Word Count - 1465