The Actor's One & Only

Chapter 3

*Sorry for the short chapter. Busy studyin for my exams. Anyway, enjoy an' try to spot the reference from The Actor's Wife.

"That's weird." she exclaimed with a hint of disappointment in her voice as they stepped into the little diner, passing by the families eating and chatting there as they made their way to a booth in the corner. "What is?" he enquired, on hearing her. "I thought there'd be a whole crowd o' people out to get yer autograph as soon as we stepped foot in ere, but no-one even seemed to notice! Bloody hell, yer not that famous, are ya, star-boy?" she replied, looking around to see the oblivious sets of eyes scanning the menus, busy impressing their dates ,discussing business over lunch or simply spending time with their families, but not once taking notice of Jack. "Just give it time. You'll soon see..." he muttered under his breath, playing with his napkin and ignoring her before calling for a waitress.
"Mr. O'Donnell sir...big fan!" came a cry from the ecstatic waitress who handed them their menus. "See?" he rubbed it in an impressed Ruth's face, proving her wrong as he lit up at the waitress' compliment. "I love ya in the new toilet paper ad! It's the brand we use in the loo ere. If I use it, you'd better, eh? Think I could get an autograph?" she continued, gladly repeating his catchphrase in the ad to him and turning his toothy smile upside down! An amused Ruth stifled laughter on seeing him flush (pun intended) with embarrassment!
"Sure.." he agreed, pulling out a pen from his pocket once he'd regained composure and playfully tossed his napkin at Ruth to stop her from laughing. There was more embarrassing news up ahead though. "Wait! I'll just hop on to the loo, grab the toilet paper off the holder an' ya can sign o'er that, yeah?" the excited waitress cried out, skipping off to the loo before he could stop her. "Brilliant!" Jack muttered, sarcastically, even more embarrassed now more than before! He hadn't expected recognition in this manner. "Oi...shut up, you! Not a word, dontcha dare...!" he warned, as Ruth opened her mouth to crack one of her witty,lame jokes. He made the waitress' day once she returned with the writing material- two ply toilet paper- and she was also kind enough to serve them an extra serving of chips without their asking. Jack boastfully joked that it was one of the advantages of dining with a celeb like him! They heard her excitedly whistle the ad jingle in their earshot as she worked!
"Pass me the ketchup, wontcha?" she requested, tucking into her fish n chips hungrily. "Oi, ya don't put ketchup on fish n chips! Yer gonna ruin it." he scolded, hating her habit of slathering everything in ketchup ever since they were young. She'd initially done it to keep from tasting the blandness of the cafeteria food and it'd stuck. "Oi, don't tell me how to eat my fish n chips. Yer not my husband...or my dad!" she retorted teasingly, as he withheld the ketchup bottle from her. "Right...! Yer bein a real meanie. Yer gonna be punished for it, ya know? Yer gonna get it now, lass!" he threatened, preparing to squirt ketchup at her from across the table. "Ah, no! Death by ketchup..!" she screamed, feigning horror as she ducked from an incoming splotch of the red stuff!
"Yer actin's absolute shite!" he mocked, his mouth full of fish as he spoke. "Well, I learnt from the best!" she was quick with a comeback as she bit into a chip. He stuck his tongue out at her on hearing her.